Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: Coping with teasing

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    7,193

    Coping with teasing

    My 3rd grader had been doing very well in cooperating w/ doing her treatments (a big program at her center aimed in this direction where the kids are rewarded for taking progressive steps towards independence), was initiating doing them on her own, etc- VERY very good stuff!

    Until one night out of the blue she had the hugest meltdown you have ever seen. Kicking, screaming, crying, spitting out the neb, throwing the spacer for her inhaler, throwing her enzymes- we have NEVER seen this ever from her and it lasted a good 45min! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0"> Finally, all we could get out of her was "I'm angry at cf!'

    Could not get a thing more out of her and I was afraid to speculate and give her extra things to be angry about that hadn't already come to her mind. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> She finally capitulated and quietly did her stuff but dug in her heels and was a monster for 2 weeks about doing most of her treatments. I knew SOMETHING was wrong. You don't make all that progress to just suddenly lose it like that without something happening.

    At my request, she spoke to the social worker alone at clinic this week and she told her that C, her very best friend in school made fun of her for taking her enzymes and this hurt her feelings terribly- and that was what set off this whole thing. I don't know if she even addressed it with C, and apparently all has been good with him for quite some time- I hear about him constantly with no hint of anger- and assume it's much easier to be angry at CF than it is to be upset at her best friend.

    What do I do if this happens again? Her feelings were really hurt and it just turned into this huge anger at the disease. She wouldn't talk to ME about it and while the social worker encouraged her to do so if it happens again, I have no idea if she really will. She has communication difficulties due to some developmental disabilities which make it very frustrating sometimes.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    7,193

    Coping with teasing

    My 3rd grader had been doing very well in cooperating w/ doing her treatments (a big program at her center aimed in this direction where the kids are rewarded for taking progressive steps towards independence), was initiating doing them on her own, etc- VERY very good stuff!

    Until one night out of the blue she had the hugest meltdown you have ever seen. Kicking, screaming, crying, spitting out the neb, throwing the spacer for her inhaler, throwing her enzymes- we have NEVER seen this ever from her and it lasted a good 45min! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0"> Finally, all we could get out of her was "I'm angry at cf!'

    Could not get a thing more out of her and I was afraid to speculate and give her extra things to be angry about that hadn't already come to her mind. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> She finally capitulated and quietly did her stuff but dug in her heels and was a monster for 2 weeks about doing most of her treatments. I knew SOMETHING was wrong. You don't make all that progress to just suddenly lose it like that without something happening.

    At my request, she spoke to the social worker alone at clinic this week and she told her that C, her very best friend in school made fun of her for taking her enzymes and this hurt her feelings terribly- and that was what set off this whole thing. I don't know if she even addressed it with C, and apparently all has been good with him for quite some time- I hear about him constantly with no hint of anger- and assume it's much easier to be angry at CF than it is to be upset at her best friend.

    What do I do if this happens again? Her feelings were really hurt and it just turned into this huge anger at the disease. She wouldn't talk to ME about it and while the social worker encouraged her to do so if it happens again, I have no idea if she really will. She has communication difficulties due to some developmental disabilities which make it very frustrating sometimes.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    7,193

    Coping with teasing

    My 3rd grader had been doing very well in cooperating w/ doing her treatments (a big program at her center aimed in this direction where the kids are rewarded for taking progressive steps towards independence), was initiating doing them on her own, etc- VERY very good stuff!

    Until one night out of the blue she had the hugest meltdown you have ever seen. Kicking, screaming, crying, spitting out the neb, throwing the spacer for her inhaler, throwing her enzymes- we have NEVER seen this ever from her and it lasted a good 45min! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0"> Finally, all we could get out of her was "I'm angry at cf!'

    Could not get a thing more out of her and I was afraid to speculate and give her extra things to be angry about that hadn't already come to her mind. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> She finally capitulated and quietly did her stuff but dug in her heels and was a monster for 2 weeks about doing most of her treatments. I knew SOMETHING was wrong. You don't make all that progress to just suddenly lose it like that without something happening.

    At my request, she spoke to the social worker alone at clinic this week and she told her that C, her very best friend in school made fun of her for taking her enzymes and this hurt her feelings terribly- and that was what set off this whole thing. I don't know if she even addressed it with C, and apparently all has been good with him for quite some time- I hear about him constantly with no hint of anger- and assume it's much easier to be angry at CF than it is to be upset at her best friend.

    What do I do if this happens again? Her feelings were really hurt and it just turned into this huge anger at the disease. She wouldn't talk to ME about it and while the social worker encouraged her to do so if it happens again, I have no idea if she really will. She has communication difficulties due to some developmental disabilities which make it very frustrating sometimes.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    7,193

    Coping with teasing

    My 3rd grader had been doing very well in cooperating w/ doing her treatments (a big program at her center aimed in this direction where the kids are rewarded for taking progressive steps towards independence), was initiating doing them on her own, etc- VERY very good stuff!

    Until one night out of the blue she had the hugest meltdown you have ever seen. Kicking, screaming, crying, spitting out the neb, throwing the spacer for her inhaler, throwing her enzymes- we have NEVER seen this ever from her and it lasted a good 45min! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0"> Finally, all we could get out of her was "I'm angry at cf!'

    Could not get a thing more out of her and I was afraid to speculate and give her extra things to be angry about that hadn't already come to her mind. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> She finally capitulated and quietly did her stuff but dug in her heels and was a monster for 2 weeks about doing most of her treatments. I knew SOMETHING was wrong. You don't make all that progress to just suddenly lose it like that without something happening.

    At my request, she spoke to the social worker alone at clinic this week and she told her that C, her very best friend in school made fun of her for taking her enzymes and this hurt her feelings terribly- and that was what set off this whole thing. I don't know if she even addressed it with C, and apparently all has been good with him for quite some time- I hear about him constantly with no hint of anger- and assume it's much easier to be angry at CF than it is to be upset at her best friend.

    What do I do if this happens again? Her feelings were really hurt and it just turned into this huge anger at the disease. She wouldn't talk to ME about it and while the social worker encouraged her to do so if it happens again, I have no idea if she really will. She has communication difficulties due to some developmental disabilities which make it very frustrating sometimes.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    7,193

    Coping with teasing

    My 3rd grader had been doing very well in cooperating w/ doing her treatments (a big program at her center aimed in this direction where the kids are rewarded for taking progressive steps towards independence), was initiating doing them on her own, etc- VERY very good stuff!
    <br />
    <br />Until one night out of the blue she had the hugest meltdown you have ever seen. Kicking, screaming, crying, spitting out the neb, throwing the spacer for her inhaler, throwing her enzymes- we have NEVER seen this ever from her and it lasted a good 45min! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0"> Finally, all we could get out of her was "I'm angry at cf!'
    <br />
    <br />Could not get a thing more out of her and I was afraid to speculate and give her extra things to be angry about that hadn't already come to her mind. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> She finally capitulated and quietly did her stuff but dug in her heels and was a monster for 2 weeks about doing most of her treatments. I knew SOMETHING was wrong. You don't make all that progress to just suddenly lose it like that without something happening.
    <br />
    <br />At my request, she spoke to the social worker alone at clinic this week and she told her that C, her very best friend in school made fun of her for taking her enzymes and this hurt her feelings terribly- and that was what set off this whole thing. I don't know if she even addressed it with C, and apparently all has been good with him for quite some time- I hear about him constantly with no hint of anger- and assume it's much easier to be angry at CF than it is to be upset at her best friend.
    <br />
    <br />What do I do if this happens again? Her feelings were really hurt and it just turned into this huge anger at the disease. She wouldn't talk to ME about it and while the social worker encouraged her to do so if it happens again, I have no idea if she really will. She has communication difficulties due to some developmental disabilities which make it very frustrating sometimes.

  6. #6

    Coping with teasing

    Harriet, I know how upsetting it must be when a cute, snappy little kid like Emily is teased at school.

    Kids her age often take their cue on how to handle things by how the parent handles the problem. So the less angst and upset you show about the issue, generally speaking, the better Emily will handle the problem.

    That doesn't mean that you are not empathetic, understanding and loving. It's just that you don't get overly wrought up.

    The story of the Ugly Duckling helps our children understand that elementary age kids tend to reject anyone who is "different". And it is important to reassure our children that people who are different are often admired for their differences in high school. So there are probably better days ahead!


    It is good to find out exactly what her friend said, and then discuss with Emily possible responses clarifying that when a child cries, gets upset, runs away, or runs and tells a teacher, it generally makes teasing worse. If Emily can joke back about the tease with eye contact it often helps. And she needs to practice possible sentences with her parent playing the teaser. It can almost be a game.

    Also, of course, it's helpful to sort out, "Who has the problem?" Because children Emily's age operate concretely, it may be helpful to draw a picture diagramming how, when a child does not feel good about him or herself, and sees him or herself as small, they try to cut people down to the same size.

    Sometimes giving our kids the "can do" message helps. "Emily you are so lucky because when you learn how, at eight, to handle people who are nasty, you are learning great leadership skills! Every great leader has to be able to handle people making fun of them." (In this day and age you can demonstrate with almost any cartoon showing Pres. Obama.)

    I am sure Lisa Greene will have more good ideas because she and Carl have children who have nipped teasing in the bud in a variety of ways.

  7. #7

    Coping with teasing

    Harriet, I know how upsetting it must be when a cute, snappy little kid like Emily is teased at school.

    Kids her age often take their cue on how to handle things by how the parent handles the problem. So the less angst and upset you show about the issue, generally speaking, the better Emily will handle the problem.

    That doesn't mean that you are not empathetic, understanding and loving. It's just that you don't get overly wrought up.

    The story of the Ugly Duckling helps our children understand that elementary age kids tend to reject anyone who is "different". And it is important to reassure our children that people who are different are often admired for their differences in high school. So there are probably better days ahead!


    It is good to find out exactly what her friend said, and then discuss with Emily possible responses clarifying that when a child cries, gets upset, runs away, or runs and tells a teacher, it generally makes teasing worse. If Emily can joke back about the tease with eye contact it often helps. And she needs to practice possible sentences with her parent playing the teaser. It can almost be a game.

    Also, of course, it's helpful to sort out, "Who has the problem?" Because children Emily's age operate concretely, it may be helpful to draw a picture diagramming how, when a child does not feel good about him or herself, and sees him or herself as small, they try to cut people down to the same size.

    Sometimes giving our kids the "can do" message helps. "Emily you are so lucky because when you learn how, at eight, to handle people who are nasty, you are learning great leadership skills! Every great leader has to be able to handle people making fun of them." (In this day and age you can demonstrate with almost any cartoon showing Pres. Obama.)

    I am sure Lisa Greene will have more good ideas because she and Carl have children who have nipped teasing in the bud in a variety of ways.

  8. #8

    Coping with teasing

    Harriet, I know how upsetting it must be when a cute, snappy little kid like Emily is teased at school.

    Kids her age often take their cue on how to handle things by how the parent handles the problem. So the less angst and upset you show about the issue, generally speaking, the better Emily will handle the problem.

    That doesn't mean that you are not empathetic, understanding and loving. It's just that you don't get overly wrought up.

    The story of the Ugly Duckling helps our children understand that elementary age kids tend to reject anyone who is "different". And it is important to reassure our children that people who are different are often admired for their differences in high school. So there are probably better days ahead!


    It is good to find out exactly what her friend said, and then discuss with Emily possible responses clarifying that when a child cries, gets upset, runs away, or runs and tells a teacher, it generally makes teasing worse. If Emily can joke back about the tease with eye contact it often helps. And she needs to practice possible sentences with her parent playing the teaser. It can almost be a game.

    Also, of course, it's helpful to sort out, "Who has the problem?" Because children Emily's age operate concretely, it may be helpful to draw a picture diagramming how, when a child does not feel good about him or herself, and sees him or herself as small, they try to cut people down to the same size.

    Sometimes giving our kids the "can do" message helps. "Emily you are so lucky because when you learn how, at eight, to handle people who are nasty, you are learning great leadership skills! Every great leader has to be able to handle people making fun of them." (In this day and age you can demonstrate with almost any cartoon showing Pres. Obama.)

    I am sure Lisa Greene will have more good ideas because she and Carl have children who have nipped teasing in the bud in a variety of ways.

  9. #9

    Coping with teasing

    Harriet, I know how upsetting it must be when a cute, snappy little kid like Emily is teased at school.

    Kids her age often take their cue on how to handle things by how the parent handles the problem. So the less angst and upset you show about the issue, generally speaking, the better Emily will handle the problem.

    That doesn't mean that you are not empathetic, understanding and loving. It's just that you don't get overly wrought up.

    The story of the Ugly Duckling helps our children understand that elementary age kids tend to reject anyone who is "different". And it is important to reassure our children that people who are different are often admired for their differences in high school. So there are probably better days ahead!


    It is good to find out exactly what her friend said, and then discuss with Emily possible responses clarifying that when a child cries, gets upset, runs away, or runs and tells a teacher, it generally makes teasing worse. If Emily can joke back about the tease with eye contact it often helps. And she needs to practice possible sentences with her parent playing the teaser. It can almost be a game.

    Also, of course, it's helpful to sort out, "Who has the problem?" Because children Emily's age operate concretely, it may be helpful to draw a picture diagramming how, when a child does not feel good about him or herself, and sees him or herself as small, they try to cut people down to the same size.

    Sometimes giving our kids the "can do" message helps. "Emily you are so lucky because when you learn how, at eight, to handle people who are nasty, you are learning great leadership skills! Every great leader has to be able to handle people making fun of them." (In this day and age you can demonstrate with almost any cartoon showing Pres. Obama.)

    I am sure Lisa Greene will have more good ideas because she and Carl have children who have nipped teasing in the bud in a variety of ways.

  10. #10

    Coping with teasing

    Harriet, I know how upsetting it must be when a cute, snappy little kid like Emily is teased at school.
    <br />
    <br />Kids her age often take their cue on how to handle things by how the parent handles the problem. So the less angst and upset you show about the issue, generally speaking, the better Emily will handle the problem.
    <br />
    <br />That doesn't mean that you are not empathetic, understanding and loving. It's just that you don't get overly wrought up.
    <br />
    <br />The story of the Ugly Duckling helps our children understand that elementary age kids tend to reject anyone who is "different". And it is important to reassure our children that people who are different are often admired for their differences in high school. So there are probably better days ahead!
    <br />
    <br />
    <br />It is good to find out exactly what her friend said, and then discuss with Emily possible responses clarifying that when a child cries, gets upset, runs away, or runs and tells a teacher, it generally makes teasing worse. If Emily can joke back about the tease with eye contact it often helps. And she needs to practice possible sentences with her parent playing the teaser. It can almost be a game.
    <br />
    <br />Also, of course, it's helpful to sort out, "Who has the problem?" Because children Emily's age operate concretely, it may be helpful to draw a picture diagramming how, when a child does not feel good about him or herself, and sees him or herself as small, they try to cut people down to the same size.
    <br />
    <br />Sometimes giving our kids the "can do" message helps. "Emily you are so lucky because when you learn how, at eight, to handle people who are nasty, you are learning great leadership skills! Every great leader has to be able to handle people making fun of them." (In this day and age you can demonstrate with almost any cartoon showing Pres. Obama.)
    <br />
    <br />I am sure Lisa Greene will have more good ideas because she and Carl have children who have nipped teasing in the bud in a variety of ways.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •