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Thread: How long to try to conceive before pushing for action

  1. #1

    Question How long to try to conceive before pushing for action

    We have been trying to conceive for six months now. I have been using OPKs and timing intercourse the whole time, as well as using mucinex and preseed consistently, to no avail. My cervical mucus at the time of ovulation is thick, like a glob of rubber cement. My cycle is otherwise normal, my weight is healthy, etc. My lungs are really good…my issues are mostly GI and sinus stuff. CF doc is good with a pregnancy.

    I am late 20’s, so no one seems concerned about this length of time. I know 6 months is very, so in some ways my brain tells me to suck it up and keep trying. I am not yet upset that it hasn’t happened. Six months is normal, and I know it. I think if I didn’t have CF, I’d be optimistic. However, knowing that with CF it is likely that I’ll have problems, I am now pretty discouraged. I feel like if it was going to happen on its own, it would have within 6 months. I think “there must be an issue, right?” I have (maybe irrationally) convinced myself that the fact that we have not succeeded within six months means it won’t happen anytime in the near future. And that possibility has me quite upset.

    We are seeing a reproductive endocrinologist – mostly initiated to get some genetic testing and stuff done upfront (all good). He says he’ll be as aggressive as we want him to be, but that he doesn’t yet want to do anything unless we WANT him to. My thought is…if it hasn’t happened in six months, shouldn’t we go ahead and do something? Is there any chance it will still happen on its own? Has anyone here (with female with CF) NOT succeeded for six months or more and then succeeded without any changes? (and remember, I have been using mucinex and preseed, timing intercourse, lying down elevated after intercourse, etc. etc. already for six months).

    I feel isolated and deficient. All of my friends have kids or are expecting, so we seem to get baby shower and kid birthday party invitations weekly. Or the dreaded FB pregnancy announcement with the cheesy picture revealing the surprise. Watching my husband look wistfully at kids has about tipped me over the edge. Five babies got baptized the other day at church…I cried and had to walk out. Seriously, that is embarrassing, and very much unlike me! I am honestly having more trouble emotionally with this than I have anything else with CF. I feel silly admitting that after only six months. I know people reading this are probably rolling their eyes after trying for years, thinking I should get a grip. But I think I have always accepted that I have CF and the disease stuff will happen, yet held out hope that fertility would be normal?

  2. #2
    I feel your pain! It's tough, especially when everyone and their mom is announcing their good news! I would try not to stress, and enjoy this time with your husband before kids. Why not tell your R.E you're ready to go ahead with some extra help? There's no reason you should feel deficient (although it's definitely understandable). Some people with CF have trouble conceiving, some don't. Some people withOUT CF have trouble conceiving! It's painful all around. Sounds like you have a good plan in place -- when you're ready, pull the trigger and take action. It's not your fault.

  3. #3
    Oh, and hugs <3

  4. #4
    It is very hard to ttc when you see so many around you happily entering into pregnancy, especially without the added burden of cf that we have. Its normal to feel the way you do. Cf adds a layer of difficulty to everything, and we are just going to worry about so much more. With my 1st, it took 2 months. When we tried for our 2nd it took a full year. That was so hard. I was sure I won the lottery the first time around and convinced myself I would not be able to give my DD a sibling. Finally after month 12 of trying I really just let it go and accepted whatever would happen. For some reason so many women say that helps. Helps the body to conceive, or helps you take that next step you need to get reproductive intervention.
    Like the above poster said, so many people Cf or non take a long time conceiving. Some with Cf go to great lengths to get pregnant, some have little trouble at all. You are healthy, it sounds like you're doing everything right. Try to be as calm and optimistic as you can. You may not need major intervention at all. Just a small tweak here or there in your plan.
    Best wishes to your family.

  5. #5
    Thank you, you both made me feel better.

    Welshwitch, thanks for the advice on enjoying time with my husband It is easy to get caught up in the stress and only think about TTC, and I have to assume I haven't been all that pleasant to be around lately. I gotta improve there. No reason for my emotions to hurt relationships, too. We always said we wanted kids after three years of marriage, and now we're there. I am now kicking myself for not starting to try earlier, but you live, you learn.

    mamaScarlett, did you change anything after 12 months other than relaxing about it? No changes to meds or fertility treatment? If not, maybe there is still hope without notable intervention.

    We are having dinner with friends tonight, and they have a baby due early July. I keep things like TTC very private generally, but this particular pair has made a number of ignorant comments that have upset me. I am considering telling them that we’re having trouble. If I don’t tell them, there is a 50% chance I’ll cry because of something they said anyway haha. Last time, it was “Come on, we want our baby to have a friend…please, you should try.” (I was 5 months in to "trying"). To which I said something vague like “we hope we’ll be able to give your baby a friend soon.” She replied “well get trying, it happened the first month for us! My husband said he would be SO mad if it didn’t work for us the first month. After all, teenagers get pregnant!” She then went on to say they better have a boy, as they wouldn't know how to handle a girl. And that if they have a girl they will “walk around the hospital and try to give her away and then make another.” Totally joking, but still offensive since I would be so happy right now with a boy or a girl, I don't care one bit! The more I think about it, maybe I should say something tonight….just help them understand that things don’t go perfectly for everyone, so they should think before they speak. Maybe I can help prevent them from offending other people in the future

  6. #6
    Yes I did alter something after month 11 of ttc with my 2nd. I sat for a while with my OB and went over my cycle. They felt I was ovulating earlier than we thought, earlier than the OPK's were saying. This means it was possible I was mis-timing things all along. OPKs are not accurate for some women and I'm one of them. With my 3rd, I never even bought one. So we timed things earlier in the cycle, and that probably helped. The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility is very helpful for all aspects of the cycle. Very interesting info, not just for TTC but all aspects of women's health.

    Yes dealing with comments is very hard. People generally mean well. And they just can't understand our situation having Cf, and all that means. No way could they understand. Perhaps you can help your friend to understand just where you're coming from? If they have the information then they'll be more likely to think before speaking not just to you but in other situations too.
    Hang in there..

  7. #7
    Do your friends know you have CF? Perhaps that would make them a bit more sensitive about the issue. But yes, I agree. People drop ignorant comments about babies and pregnancy all the time with no second thoughts of those who may not have it so easy. I'm glad you found our comments helpful! Also, another idea is to seek counseling -- I have a friend (no CF) who went through an infertility challenge and group therapy with others going through the same thing helped her enormously. She now has twins (!) after seeking fertility help, but still keeps in touch with the supportive women she met in her group!

  8. #8
    welshwitch and mamaScarlett, Thanks for your supportive messages. And mamaScarlett, thanks for letting me know what helped you in the end! I have had bloodwork done to confirm that the OPKs are correctly showing ovulation...and it seems they are (as is the nasty CM). Oh well, we'll keep looking for what works! for us! Fingers crossed we have some kind of simple issue as well.

    AF arrived this weekend right on schedule I am moving forward with having an HSG this month to ensure there isn't a blockage. I have some fear this is going to be very painful due to the thickness of my mucus- what if it is all gunked up in there? (Sorry, gross, I know). My husband is also having semen analysis (he might be more nervous than I am, haha ) My mom had some infertility issues (2 MCs, years of trying for my siblings with clomid, etc., although I was a surprise ). Anyway, she swears that having her "tubes blown out" was the magic ticket for her. She obviously doesn't have CF, etc., but I am optimistic that this test is a step in the right direction - at least assessing whether there is an issue.

  9. #9
    My husband and I tried for a year before we got checked out. Found out I had a cyst on my ovary and when the doctor removed it he had to clean up a lot of endometriosis. I got pregnant a month later and now have 3 children.
    I am 48 now and just read a book called The Hormone Cure. Basically when you are dealing with chronic stress and illness your adrenal glands can not regulate properly which can impact your other hormone levels. Adrenal fatigue can cause low progesterone which can make getting pregnant difficult. The author/doctor reccomends chasteberry for fertility with good success. May be worth researching. Best of luck!

  10. #10
    Hi, just wanted to provide an update -I had the HSG Friday and it was okay. Uncomfortable (during and for a while afterward), but I had prepared myself for the worst based on internet postings that it was AWFUL, etc., and it wasn't that bad. My tubes were clear. Good news. My husband has semen analysis on Wednesday. I think he is more scared than I was!

    My bloodwork from the RE is all normal except my AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) is SUPER high. Unrelated to CF, I guess? He said this means I have lots of eggs but says nothing about their quality, and may be an indicator of PCOS (which I have never thought I have)

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