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Thread: Friends announcing pregnancy

  1. #11
    Same here! I'm 31 and we have 3 new babies this year in our immediate family, Each visit I come home with baby fever... Then I snuggle up with my happy healthy dog, that will never leave home, talk back and ALWAYS loves snuggles and hugs and is always happy to see me. Plus when I wake up feeling awful he smiles at me and settles into the blanky next to me ready to vest up. It's hard to stay depressed with him around(OXYGEN)

    We are thinking of adopting when we grow up more.

  2. #12
    welshwitch
    Guest
    I like the idea of adopting. I am also open to IUI or IVF. I have a friend (no CF) who just underwent 2 years of fertility issues. She's now expecting twins after several extensive (and expensive!) rounds of IUI...she said the process was hard on her marriage and hard on her. I'm like, "Ack! Is this what I'm in for?" On the other hand, I feel like this is an unproductive way to feel. It's just a weight that I have about having kids....already anticipating a struggle.

  3. #13
    Super Moderator
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    We were married at age 30. Prior to getting engaged we discussed our desires, hopes and expectations including a family. We tried for a couple years before looking for an organic problem. Neither of us were great candidates, she had several cervical freezes to eliminate dysplastic cell growth and mine was, CF sperm, low count, low motility and many DOA.

    We never have used contraception and we have no children. At the two year mark we went through basic fertility testing/exams which is when we found why we probably hadn't gotten pregnant. We could contine trying or go straight to IVF and we just weren't into twins or more.

    About a year after we decided not to take extraordinary steps to have a child, she asked me if I really was ok to not have a child. I assured her I was fine and asked if she was alright with it still. She told me of a friend who awoke one day to a husband angry and grieving his unfulfilled dream for a child. He eventually left her and remarried.

    Women aren't the ones always pining for a baby and most men don't quite understand why this can change. In many relationships the moment a woman has fully committed herself, she wants to have her partner's baby. Family planning may idealize the time for that baby, but the gun is cocked. Men do the same thing, the machinations are a little different. It explains why and to a degree how the desire for children changes in a relationship.

    Some women have deep maternal drives. For CF mates, man or woman, follow your dreams and have IVF assuring one baby or two if you must. Adopt a baby, become foster parents, the options are limitless. If there is insurance great but don't feel like this is just your financial responsibility. We are a society of people. There is no limit to the positive influence you can have on the lives of others, your children or the unclaimed.

    LL

  4. #14
    welshwitch
    Guest
    Thanks, LL, really beautifully written

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by kmhbeauty View Post
    I can totally relate. I am almost 28 years old. Engaged but the relationship is a little on the rocks but seems to be getting better. My main fear is being an older mom and having that factor make it harder on me to be a mom. I wish I could have a baby now because I feel like currently I am healthy and it would be easier now then later. My cf is not the only thing that is not allowing me to have a child. If I was ready to have a baby, I would need help to get pregnant. There is for sure something cf related wrong with me and I believe its my cervical mucus. The next thing that is wrong is the my fiancÚ has a 7 year old son and does not want another one anytime soon. He told me he may never want another one ever. When we first started dating he said he did want another child and would love that with me. I think his opinion has changed because it is no longer the beginning of the relationship. If I ever do get pregnant, it will be so special to me, but I do not believe it will be as special to him because he has already had his first. All this is so disheartening to me, very painful. I am more of a cold person but this really hurts my heart and no one understands. I am not quite sure what to do since he did tell me recently that he may not ever want another one. I can relate, its a horrible feeling, I hope it just works out for us
    If your relationship is on the rocks and you don't know why, go read some of the nutty PMs you've bombarded me with and remind yourself. If you are that unhinged and weird to random people online, then god help your fiance/boyfriend.

  6. #16
    sdeuber
    Guest
    My experience and my (suggested) solutions:
    experience was AWFUL. My SIL became pregnant, announced it in a BIG way (with me present while I was going thru IVF), I drove home and just wanted to drive my car off a cliff. I felt I was a failure, I could not fulfill my dreams of having three children, it was one of the lowest points I had with my CF life.

    My solution was to try at least a couple of times artificial insemination (sperm could not get thru my thick mucus wall), try at least one IVF - for me none of them work. So we adopted. We are now very happy parents of two wonderful boys. I still dream about having three kids but with two boys our lives are pretty busy.
    I also STRONGLY recommend to talk to a therapist about what you are going thru. I unfortuantely did not do it early enough - I did it about 10 years later and I am finally "free" and "ok" with how my life took unexpected turns!

  7. #17
    I don't let anyone walk over me or degrade me. I wrote you those messages because I pity you! You have some problems with being a "negative nancy" and I called you out on it! Stop putting down everyone's hope and thinking you know everything. If you were right in front of me, Im sure you would change your tune.
    http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...g?t=1365041767 27 year old female, ddf508, dx at 15 (L)

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