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Thread: Throwing Up

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    2,499

    Throwing Up

    I'm working so hard
    I'm trying to live
    But I'd like to lie down
    I'd like to give in

    This world is so fast
    I cannot keep up
    My body's too slow
    I'm not good enough

    Why am I trying?
    Why can't I stop?
    Why do I keep giving
    More than I've got?

    I push my body
    Until it is dead
    Then I force it to live
    And push on ahead

    Dying is easy
    And living is hard
    How could I ever
    Have gotten this far?

    There's a Spirit withing me
    Who's doing it all
    He won't let me quit
    He won't let me fall

    This strength I've been given
    Cannot be suppressed
    Not by my weakness
    Nor my distress

    Like a run-away train
    I'm designed to push on
    I'm made to endure
    All the day long

    I know I shall rest
    Someday, someday soon
    But today I am living
    Living anew

    Yes, I am tired
    Yes, I'm in pain
    Yes, I'm alone
    And broken again

    Yes, I am tortured
    And taken abuse
    But these circumstances
    Are not an excuse

    For the Spirit within me
    Has conquered them all
    He overcame the world
    And I follow His call

    So give me this illness
    And threaten my life
    Give me this pain
    And I will survive

    Give me disgrace
    And make my life tough
    Strike me down
    And watch me get up

    Consume me and crush me
    And put me to grief
    Destroy my body
    And I shall be pleased

    I shall face this day
    And I shall endure
    I don't need analgesic
    I don't need a cure

    Nothing, yes nothing
    Can destroy my faith
    For Jesus had died
    And now He is raised

    And His Spirit within me
    Has given me all
    I need to be joyful
    And move any wall

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    814

    Throwing Up

    Thank you for sharing your poem.

    JenWren

    Make sure you copyright this.

    Sign your name on it.


  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    29

    Throwing Up

    Amen. Thank you for sharing. God Bless You. <img src="i/expressions/praying.gif" border="0">

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2
    that was beautiful, God bless you and stay strong

  5. #5
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    785
    Indeed you capture the indomitable spirit that seems to be the hidden genetic component in CF survival. As a little boy my parents went from my pneumonia with meningitis to encephalitis interposed with the real fear that either was polio. For me I pushed on, what was happening was just more of what already had been happening. What else could I do? There is no denying this is SO very hard to do.

    Your powerful poem expresses something that I believe MUST be common amongst CFer's. Even within the group of CF patients, one disease expression such as pulminary focused problems can't be fully understood by patients with GI issues. But we all share a life of such excitement only soldiers who have survived multiple incidents of mortal combat or such can begin to relate to a life on the edge. For us one mistep could be the last. Truly the equivalent of a sword by a hair hangs above our heads when our focus is making it up a five flight walk up without passing out knowing this is just the start of another life packed busy day.

    All life is hard. Myself I can say that short of base or bungee jumping (minor thrills in the province of real life experience) I have lived a life so crammed with adventure it seems unimaginable I had time to be sick. CF is something we feel much deeper than even our sexual identity. It is like a fire that burns our bellies all the way up to our sinuses. At once unable to catch our breath from the effort and the conquering thrill of accomplishment we are sapped for a time. But too often we must climb on without that rest.

    What you beautifly ascribe to spirit, both a motivating attitude and the driving etherial soul I often called driving something by sheer force of personality. Possibly it is both less accurate and less poetic than your description which I feel but am lost at conveying.

    Jesus or a collective conscience, I hear your deep belief. It either has or will pass that all that people faced with death first hand are assured first hand the journey will continue after the body dies off.

    LL

  6. #6
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    785
    If you copyright the poem make sure to correct the one typo at your first use of "Spirit within(g) me". I make typo's so easily and often and normally would never correct a word. I think so much of your writing it should be shared.

    LL

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