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Thread: Can two people with cf date?

  1. #71
    Senior Member
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    Dec 2006
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    Can two people with cf date?

    yes you can, it is your (and the other person's) choice to make and no one can tell you otherwise.

  2. #72
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,914

    Can two people with cf date?

    yes you can, it is your (and the other person's) choice to make and no one can tell you otherwise.

  3. #73

    Can two people with cf date?

    I have CF and have been with my boyfriend (who also has CF and is post transplant) for 3.5 years! We plan on getting married and provided Vertex is as wonderful as everyone says it is, having kids. It's definitely a personal choice. Our doctors and nurses have always been big on letting patients be adults and make their own decisions. They warned us of the dangers, but ultimately, they are extremely supportive of our relationship. We swapped bugs before his transplant so it isn't even an issue with his transplant docs, as long as I don't culture anything new. If I do, I have to let them know what it is and they will tell me how to proceed. We live with the constant threat that one of us will culture cepacia (my sister actually has it) or something that will force us to split, but we chose these risks and take as many precautions as possible. You can't help who you fall in love with and I think there are a lot of benefits dating someone who intimately understands your health situation.

  4. #74

    Can two people with cf date?

    I have CF and have been with my boyfriend (who also has CF and is post transplant) for 3.5 years! We plan on getting married and provided Vertex is as wonderful as everyone says it is, having kids. It's definitely a personal choice. Our doctors and nurses have always been big on letting patients be adults and make their own decisions. They warned us of the dangers, but ultimately, they are extremely supportive of our relationship. We swapped bugs before his transplant so it isn't even an issue with his transplant docs, as long as I don't culture anything new. If I do, I have to let them know what it is and they will tell me how to proceed. We live with the constant threat that one of us will culture cepacia (my sister actually has it) or something that will force us to split, but we chose these risks and take as many precautions as possible. You can't help who you fall in love with and I think there are a lot of benefits dating someone who intimately understands your health situation.

  5. #75
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    15

    Can two people with cf date?

    <br>In March of 2005 I was admitted to the hospital in Columbia, MO for a typical lung infection. While in the hospital, I was mulling through the old www.xanga.com CF groups. I found a girl named Heather, a couple years younger than I, and 500 miles away. Heather had MRSA, as well as different strands of pseudomonas than myself. I sent her a private message awaiting response. Little did I know she'd change my life forever after that.
    <br><br>She responded with a regular friendly message and we started talking. Between talking on AIM, and quickly moving to the phone, while I was still in the hospital, many hours were spent. The day I was being discharged in Missouri, she was being admitted in Indiana. I promised her after she was discharged, I would drive up to see her. Tuesday the 12th of April I drove up to see her, staying til Friday.
    <br><br>Skipping a few details, less than a month after that she drove down to see me. I packed my bags and chose not to let her out of my sight again. We were together for a little over three years, before she passed away June 5th, 2008.
    <br><br>I honestly will never be involved in another relationship with a connection as deep as I had with her. It made things much more bearable, dealing with sickness, hospitalizations, and more. We also had our great battles, but I would not change having that relationship for anything. The things I learned medically, the compassion and patience it took caring for another Cystic, things very few are luck enough to experience.
    <br>
    <br>If you want to date another cystic, sit down and think about the consequences. As others have posted, trading bugs is the biggest thing. I am fortunate enough to not have had any complications from contracting the MRSA from her. Not everyone will be so lucky with such situations. Its a bond not many people experience, but its so rewarding. I say more power to you.
    <br>
    <br>I'm also surprised Candice hasn't posted on this yet, as she married a fellow Cystic. They started dating shortly before Heather and I did. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

  6. #76
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    15

    Can two people with cf date?

    <br>In March of 2005 I was admitted to the hospital in Columbia, MO for a typical lung infection. While in the hospital, I was mulling through the old www.xanga.com CF groups. I found a girl named Heather, a couple years younger than I, and 500 miles away. Heather had MRSA, as well as different strands of pseudomonas than myself. I sent her a private message awaiting response. Little did I know she'd change my life forever after that.
    <br><br>She responded with a regular friendly message and we started talking. Between talking on AIM, and quickly moving to the phone, while I was still in the hospital, many hours were spent. The day I was being discharged in Missouri, she was being admitted in Indiana. I promised her after she was discharged, I would drive up to see her. Tuesday the 12th of April I drove up to see her, staying til Friday.
    <br><br>Skipping a few details, less than a month after that she drove down to see me. I packed my bags and chose not to let her out of my sight again. We were together for a little over three years, before she passed away June 5th, 2008.
    <br><br>I honestly will never be involved in another relationship with a connection as deep as I had with her. It made things much more bearable, dealing with sickness, hospitalizations, and more. We also had our great battles, but I would not change having that relationship for anything. The things I learned medically, the compassion and patience it took caring for another Cystic, things very few are luck enough to experience.
    <br>
    <br>If you want to date another cystic, sit down and think about the consequences. As others have posted, trading bugs is the biggest thing. I am fortunate enough to not have had any complications from contracting the MRSA from her. Not everyone will be so lucky with such situations. Its a bond not many people experience, but its so rewarding. I say more power to you.
    <br>
    <br>I'm also surprised Candice hasn't posted on this yet, as she married a fellow Cystic. They started dating shortly before Heather and I did. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

  7. #77

    Can two people with cf date?

    YES!!! If you live in the USA you are free to date anyone you want. Even if it's not sanctioned by a docter. Even if it's bad for both of you.
    So, keep researching and make an educated decision.

    But most of all make sure it's your decision.

  8. #78

    Can two people with cf date?

    YES!!! If you live in the USA you are free to date anyone you want. Even if it's not sanctioned by a docter. Even if it's bad for both of you.
    So, keep researching and make an educated decision.

    But most of all make sure it's your decision.

  9. #79

    Can two people with cf date?

    Nobody can tell you if you can or can't.

    There are several things to consider. I know when you are young and you meet someone else that knows what you go thru you feel a connection. Or even when you are older. However, when you are young, those dang hormones make you make decisions that you haven't thought thru. That's the nature of adolescents and young adults....with or without cf. The fact that you had the courage to ask says you are mature enough to take some thought about it.

    Here are some of the things you should consider:
    1. What infections do each of you have, and are you willing to be friends with out swapping fluids, and that includes kissing until you know?
    2. If you have the same infections, are either of your infections resistant to any antibiotics? Are either of you allergic to any antibiotics?

    These are important points because if you have different infection strains and resistant and allergy patterns, you will just share those with each other if you spend very much time closer than 3 feet apart. This includes holding hands.

    If all this is acceptable to each of you....

    How will you feel 10 years from now if you did share possibly life threatening infections and then discovered you really don't like each other??? This is WAY more serious than an STD.

    If you are soul mates and it works, who is going to be the supportive one when you are both sick and tired and just at the end of your rope at the same time? Will this lead to bad feelings between you? Resentment?

    Another thing to consider, even if you can live as married, what if a child happens. Yes, *most* women have decreased fertility and *most* men are functionally sterile. What if you aren't *most*, and a child happens. How do you feel about the stress of your disease processes on that child? From experience, I know my disease affects my daughter's life. I haven't decided if it is positive, negative or a wash. However, my husband is fairly healthy, so she's always had him, too.

    I don't know the answers. Each and every one of us is unique in what we feel, think and can cope with.

    Odds are your doctors and cf team with discourage any relationship. They only have each of your best interests at heart. Many people as you've seen will tell flat out NO. If all of your support people: parents, friends, relatives, what-have-you object, will you lose their support?

    There is a lot of talk about siblings with cf here. It is my assumption that siblings with cf probably have similar infections, resistances and so forth as they share the same environment. Some one please correct me if that assumption is wrong.

    To sum up, can you date? Sure, nobody can stop you from dating anyone. Should you date? That is up to you. Please consider some of the things I brought up. If none of that scares either of you, then, I say go for it.

    Good Luck, whatever you decision!

    Karen

  10. #80

    Can two people with cf date?

    Nobody can tell you if you can or can't.

    There are several things to consider. I know when you are young and you meet someone else that knows what you go thru you feel a connection. Or even when you are older. However, when you are young, those dang hormones make you make decisions that you haven't thought thru. That's the nature of adolescents and young adults....with or without cf. The fact that you had the courage to ask says you are mature enough to take some thought about it.

    Here are some of the things you should consider:
    1. What infections do each of you have, and are you willing to be friends with out swapping fluids, and that includes kissing until you know?
    2. If you have the same infections, are either of your infections resistant to any antibiotics? Are either of you allergic to any antibiotics?

    These are important points because if you have different infection strains and resistant and allergy patterns, you will just share those with each other if you spend very much time closer than 3 feet apart. This includes holding hands.

    If all this is acceptable to each of you....

    How will you feel 10 years from now if you did share possibly life threatening infections and then discovered you really don't like each other??? This is WAY more serious than an STD.

    If you are soul mates and it works, who is going to be the supportive one when you are both sick and tired and just at the end of your rope at the same time? Will this lead to bad feelings between you? Resentment?

    Another thing to consider, even if you can live as married, what if a child happens. Yes, *most* women have decreased fertility and *most* men are functionally sterile. What if you aren't *most*, and a child happens. How do you feel about the stress of your disease processes on that child? From experience, I know my disease affects my daughter's life. I haven't decided if it is positive, negative or a wash. However, my husband is fairly healthy, so she's always had him, too.

    I don't know the answers. Each and every one of us is unique in what we feel, think and can cope with.

    Odds are your doctors and cf team with discourage any relationship. They only have each of your best interests at heart. Many people as you've seen will tell flat out NO. If all of your support people: parents, friends, relatives, what-have-you object, will you lose their support?

    There is a lot of talk about siblings with cf here. It is my assumption that siblings with cf probably have similar infections, resistances and so forth as they share the same environment. Some one please correct me if that assumption is wrong.

    To sum up, can you date? Sure, nobody can stop you from dating anyone. Should you date? That is up to you. Please consider some of the things I brought up. If none of that scares either of you, then, I say go for it.

    Good Luck, whatever you decision!

    Karen

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