PDA

View Full Version : Can CF patients have children?



TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 08:39 PM
Hi guys this is debbie, my fiance has CF and well, I just sort of found out. Im here for him through it all but I was wondering can he have kids? And what age do you think he will make it to? Thanks

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 08:39 PM
Hi guys this is debbie, my fiance has CF and well, I just sort of found out. Im here for him through it all but I was wondering can he have kids? And what age do you think he will make it to? Thanks

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 08:39 PM
Hi guys this is debbie, my fiance has CF and well, I just sort of found out. Im here for him through it all but I was wondering can he have kids? And what age do you think he will make it to? Thanks

lightNlife
03-05-2007, 08:53 PM
No one can answer the life expectancy question for you. As far as having kids, the truth is that males with CF are for the most part, infertile.

Did your fiance just find out he had CF, or has he only just now shared that information with you? If he's kept you in the dark about it before now, I would strongly encourage you both to wait with the wedding until you are sure you have what it takes to be a CF spouse.

Please understand, I'm not telling you to ditch him. My personal opinion is that a broken engagement is better than a broken and bitter marriage. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you make your big time life decisions together.

lightNlife
03-05-2007, 08:53 PM
No one can answer the life expectancy question for you. As far as having kids, the truth is that males with CF are for the most part, infertile.

Did your fiance just find out he had CF, or has he only just now shared that information with you? If he's kept you in the dark about it before now, I would strongly encourage you both to wait with the wedding until you are sure you have what it takes to be a CF spouse.

Please understand, I'm not telling you to ditch him. My personal opinion is that a broken engagement is better than a broken and bitter marriage. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you make your big time life decisions together.

lightNlife
03-05-2007, 08:53 PM
No one can answer the life expectancy question for you. As far as having kids, the truth is that males with CF are for the most part, infertile.

Did your fiance just find out he had CF, or has he only just now shared that information with you? If he's kept you in the dark about it before now, I would strongly encourage you both to wait with the wedding until you are sure you have what it takes to be a CF spouse.

Please understand, I'm not telling you to ditch him. My personal opinion is that a broken engagement is better than a broken and bitter marriage. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you make your big time life decisions together.

nicolaj
03-05-2007, 08:58 PM
most males with cf are unfortunately infertile, but that doesnt mean it isnt possible to have children. i no many cf males who have gone on to have healthy children.
Good luck to you and your fiance in the future!

Nicola xx

nicolaj
03-05-2007, 08:58 PM
most males with cf are unfortunately infertile, but that doesnt mean it isnt possible to have children. i no many cf males who have gone on to have healthy children.
Good luck to you and your fiance in the future!

Nicola xx

nicolaj
03-05-2007, 08:58 PM
most males with cf are unfortunately infertile, but that doesnt mean it isnt possible to have children. i no many cf males who have gone on to have healthy children.
Good luck to you and your fiance in the future!

Nicola xx

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:00 PM
well no not really i have known for a month or two now. but he really isnt my fiance hes my boyfriend but i am sure we are leading to that point and want more info. ive been reading a lot about it. i love him more than anything i want to make it work. so infertile as in he cant have kids? and there isnt any special things doctors can do to help us?

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:00 PM
well no not really i have known for a month or two now. but he really isnt my fiance hes my boyfriend but i am sure we are leading to that point and want more info. ive been reading a lot about it. i love him more than anything i want to make it work. so infertile as in he cant have kids? and there isnt any special things doctors can do to help us?

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:00 PM
well no not really i have known for a month or two now. but he really isnt my fiance hes my boyfriend but i am sure we are leading to that point and want more info. ive been reading a lot about it. i love him more than anything i want to make it work. so infertile as in he cant have kids? and there isnt any special things doctors can do to help us?

mom2lillian
03-05-2007, 09:04 PM
Julie on this board would be someone good to comment, give her a bit to find your posts as she has her hands full with triplets--that are by her husband who has CF. You can have biologcial children if you do IVF and he does a procedure to see if they can extract sperm. There are also options like donor sperm and adoption.

Being a CF spouse might be one of the few things harder IMO than having CF so do your reading and have alot of honest converstations with him. He probablyh already knows alot of this information, have you asked him?

mom2lillian
03-05-2007, 09:04 PM
Julie on this board would be someone good to comment, give her a bit to find your posts as she has her hands full with triplets--that are by her husband who has CF. You can have biologcial children if you do IVF and he does a procedure to see if they can extract sperm. There are also options like donor sperm and adoption.

Being a CF spouse might be one of the few things harder IMO than having CF so do your reading and have alot of honest converstations with him. He probablyh already knows alot of this information, have you asked him?

mom2lillian
03-05-2007, 09:04 PM
Julie on this board would be someone good to comment, give her a bit to find your posts as she has her hands full with triplets--that are by her husband who has CF. You can have biologcial children if you do IVF and he does a procedure to see if they can extract sperm. There are also options like donor sperm and adoption.

Being a CF spouse might be one of the few things harder IMO than having CF so do your reading and have alot of honest converstations with him. He probablyh already knows alot of this information, have you asked him?

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:08 PM
yes he has had it since he was a baby and was diagnosed then. he is taking his meds i watch him. i want to have his baby but i know adoption is an option. thank you all for your info it helped a lot

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:08 PM
yes he has had it since he was a baby and was diagnosed then. he is taking his meds i watch him. i want to have his baby but i know adoption is an option. thank you all for your info it helped a lot

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:08 PM
yes he has had it since he was a baby and was diagnosed then. he is taking his meds i watch him. i want to have his baby but i know adoption is an option. thank you all for your info it helped a lot

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:08 PM
yes he has had it since he was a baby and was diagnosed then. he is taking his meds i watch him. i want to have his baby but i know adoption is an option. thank you all for your info it helped a lot

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:08 PM
yes he has had it since he was a baby and was diagnosed then. he is taking his meds i watch him. i want to have his baby but i know adoption is an option. thank you all for your info it helped a lot

TechLovesTech
03-05-2007, 09:08 PM
yes he has had it since he was a baby and was diagnosed then. he is taking his meds i watch him. i want to have his baby but i know adoption is an option. thank you all for your info it helped a lot

Scarlett81
03-05-2007, 10:05 PM
It varies from patient to patient, but infertile is not the accurate word. Cf men's bodies make sperm-the sperm are there, they just lack the vas deferens to carry the sperm outside the body. There are procedures that can be done to acheive pregnancy-as everyone said, Julie is the best person to ask about that. As far as life expectancy goes, it varies from person to person. There are people on this site in their 60s, and some don't make it past 25. I'd make an appointment to sit with him and his doctors and get more facts and info about cf and what it will be like to live with it everyday, as well as discuss your future.
Take care and best wishes.

Scarlett81
03-05-2007, 10:05 PM
It varies from patient to patient, but infertile is not the accurate word. Cf men's bodies make sperm-the sperm are there, they just lack the vas deferens to carry the sperm outside the body. There are procedures that can be done to acheive pregnancy-as everyone said, Julie is the best person to ask about that. As far as life expectancy goes, it varies from person to person. There are people on this site in their 60s, and some don't make it past 25. I'd make an appointment to sit with him and his doctors and get more facts and info about cf and what it will be like to live with it everyday, as well as discuss your future.
Take care and best wishes.

Scarlett81
03-05-2007, 10:05 PM
It varies from patient to patient, but infertile is not the accurate word. Cf men's bodies make sperm-the sperm are there, they just lack the vas deferens to carry the sperm outside the body. There are procedures that can be done to acheive pregnancy-as everyone said, Julie is the best person to ask about that. As far as life expectancy goes, it varies from person to person. There are people on this site in their 60s, and some don't make it past 25. I'd make an appointment to sit with him and his doctors and get more facts and info about cf and what it will be like to live with it everyday, as well as discuss your future.
Take care and best wishes.

NoExcuses
03-05-2007, 10:37 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>TechLovesTech</b></i>

And what age do you think he will make it to? Thanks</end quote></div>

Average age of death of a CF patient in 2005 was about 38 years old.

Something to consider if you want to have children. Although you may want kids, it's worth considering what the child would go through with a parent that is dead.

This is why I have chosen not to have kids - <b>I will not put my selfish need for a child above the child's welfare of possibly losing a mom at a young age. </b> And for you open minded spastics out there, don't be a hypocrite and instead follow your own advice and be open minded to my opinion.

And no, dying of cancer or a car crash isn't the same as knowing that you have a shortened life expectancy with CF.

NoExcuses
03-05-2007, 10:37 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>TechLovesTech</b></i>

And what age do you think he will make it to? Thanks</end quote></div>

Average age of death of a CF patient in 2005 was about 38 years old.

Something to consider if you want to have children. Although you may want kids, it's worth considering what the child would go through with a parent that is dead.

This is why I have chosen not to have kids - <b>I will not put my selfish need for a child above the child's welfare of possibly losing a mom at a young age. </b> And for you open minded spastics out there, don't be a hypocrite and instead follow your own advice and be open minded to my opinion.

And no, dying of cancer or a car crash isn't the same as knowing that you have a shortened life expectancy with CF.

NoExcuses
03-05-2007, 10:37 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>TechLovesTech</b></i>

And what age do you think he will make it to? Thanks</end quote></div>

Average age of death of a CF patient in 2005 was about 38 years old.

Something to consider if you want to have children. Although you may want kids, it's worth considering what the child would go through with a parent that is dead.

This is why I have chosen not to have kids - <b>I will not put my selfish need for a child above the child's welfare of possibly losing a mom at a young age. </b> And for you open minded spastics out there, don't be a hypocrite and instead follow your own advice and be open minded to my opinion.

And no, dying of cancer or a car crash isn't the same as knowing that you have a shortened life expectancy with CF.

Mathews
03-05-2007, 10:46 PM
Adoption is a wonderful option!!

I have two great kids through adoption. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Mathews
03-05-2007, 10:46 PM
Adoption is a wonderful option!!

I have two great kids through adoption. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Mathews
03-05-2007, 10:46 PM
Adoption is a wonderful option!!

I have two great kids through adoption. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

marcijo
03-05-2007, 10:46 PM
It is possible to have children-just like the others have said. Julie is a good example-she has triplets! Its all up to you guys, of course, but it is possible. I have CF (diagnosed at age 20) and I have 2 children myself.

Amy (saksuka)-I have never responded to your remarks before...but this one put me over the edge. Although I think that everyone does and should have their own opinion (which can be a great thing!), it's really sad that you have to express yours in a way that puts other people down. Its really too bad and maybe you should think about what you say before you say it? Just an idea-because I have seen alot of feelings hurt from your remarks.

Anyways-like I said-having children in the world we live in today is possible even if one of the parents have CF. You should probably get tested to find out if you are a CF carrier first though-because if you are your chances of having a child with CF are higher than if you are not. Good luck with everything!

marcijo
03-05-2007, 10:46 PM
It is possible to have children-just like the others have said. Julie is a good example-she has triplets! Its all up to you guys, of course, but it is possible. I have CF (diagnosed at age 20) and I have 2 children myself.

Amy (saksuka)-I have never responded to your remarks before...but this one put me over the edge. Although I think that everyone does and should have their own opinion (which can be a great thing!), it's really sad that you have to express yours in a way that puts other people down. Its really too bad and maybe you should think about what you say before you say it? Just an idea-because I have seen alot of feelings hurt from your remarks.

Anyways-like I said-having children in the world we live in today is possible even if one of the parents have CF. You should probably get tested to find out if you are a CF carrier first though-because if you are your chances of having a child with CF are higher than if you are not. Good luck with everything!

marcijo
03-05-2007, 10:46 PM
It is possible to have children-just like the others have said. Julie is a good example-she has triplets! Its all up to you guys, of course, but it is possible. I have CF (diagnosed at age 20) and I have 2 children myself.

Amy (saksuka)-I have never responded to your remarks before...but this one put me over the edge. Although I think that everyone does and should have their own opinion (which can be a great thing!), it's really sad that you have to express yours in a way that puts other people down. Its really too bad and maybe you should think about what you say before you say it? Just an idea-because I have seen alot of feelings hurt from your remarks.

Anyways-like I said-having children in the world we live in today is possible even if one of the parents have CF. You should probably get tested to find out if you are a CF carrier first though-because if you are your chances of having a child with CF are higher than if you are not. Good luck with everything!

julie
03-05-2007, 11:47 PM
I'm happy to answer any male fertility related questions I might have, and my husband Mark is always avaliable (although lately a short delay in response time due to raising children <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">) to answer questions directly from other guys as they feel that is more comfortable most times.

Amy, I absolutely respect your opinion and decision. But is there any way you can relate you feeling sometimes in a less rude way? I mean, I understand it's a touchy subject from both ends but there is no reason to be so nasty, especially when nobody's even "judged" your response in this thread. Just chill...

julie
03-05-2007, 11:47 PM
I'm happy to answer any male fertility related questions I might have, and my husband Mark is always avaliable (although lately a short delay in response time due to raising children <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">) to answer questions directly from other guys as they feel that is more comfortable most times.

Amy, I absolutely respect your opinion and decision. But is there any way you can relate you feeling sometimes in a less rude way? I mean, I understand it's a touchy subject from both ends but there is no reason to be so nasty, especially when nobody's even "judged" your response in this thread. Just chill...

julie
03-05-2007, 11:47 PM
I'm happy to answer any male fertility related questions I might have, and my husband Mark is always avaliable (although lately a short delay in response time due to raising children <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">) to answer questions directly from other guys as they feel that is more comfortable most times.

Amy, I absolutely respect your opinion and decision. But is there any way you can relate you feeling sometimes in a less rude way? I mean, I understand it's a touchy subject from both ends but there is no reason to be so nasty, especially when nobody's even "judged" your response in this thread. Just chill...

Scarlett81
03-06-2007, 01:31 AM
amy, I guess if you adopt a child, then when you die prematurely as a cf parent (male or female)-that loss doesn't matter, huh, b/c that child was lucky enough to just be adopted in the first place???!?....
As an adopted adult i take great offense to that stupid theory which whether you said it in words or through the lines...doesn't really matter. people like you that say-'oh, you can adopt....b/c its wrong to be selfish and get pregnant and leave a child behind.....well basically you are saying that the loss that an adopted child would face would be less, or justified-at least more so than for a birth child. do you realize that?!
I take no offense to you feelings about not having children. You have a right to think that its not for you, that it is selfish, or whatever you like. But you don't have a right to personally attack anyone else who does chose to have children whether by pregnancy or adoption. Your comments about it being selfish are ridiculous and i won't even address them except to say that they are cruel and you are a sick person.

Scarlett81
03-06-2007, 01:31 AM
amy, I guess if you adopt a child, then when you die prematurely as a cf parent (male or female)-that loss doesn't matter, huh, b/c that child was lucky enough to just be adopted in the first place???!?....
As an adopted adult i take great offense to that stupid theory which whether you said it in words or through the lines...doesn't really matter. people like you that say-'oh, you can adopt....b/c its wrong to be selfish and get pregnant and leave a child behind.....well basically you are saying that the loss that an adopted child would face would be less, or justified-at least more so than for a birth child. do you realize that?!
I take no offense to you feelings about not having children. You have a right to think that its not for you, that it is selfish, or whatever you like. But you don't have a right to personally attack anyone else who does chose to have children whether by pregnancy or adoption. Your comments about it being selfish are ridiculous and i won't even address them except to say that they are cruel and you are a sick person.

Scarlett81
03-06-2007, 01:31 AM
amy, I guess if you adopt a child, then when you die prematurely as a cf parent (male or female)-that loss doesn't matter, huh, b/c that child was lucky enough to just be adopted in the first place???!?....
As an adopted adult i take great offense to that stupid theory which whether you said it in words or through the lines...doesn't really matter. people like you that say-'oh, you can adopt....b/c its wrong to be selfish and get pregnant and leave a child behind.....well basically you are saying that the loss that an adopted child would face would be less, or justified-at least more so than for a birth child. do you realize that?!
I take no offense to you feelings about not having children. You have a right to think that its not for you, that it is selfish, or whatever you like. But you don't have a right to personally attack anyone else who does chose to have children whether by pregnancy or adoption. Your comments about it being selfish are ridiculous and i won't even address them except to say that they are cruel and you are a sick person.

dramamama
03-06-2007, 02:33 AM
I am a 33 year old female with cf and am married to the love of my life, matt without cf. My brother, Chad no cf, died almost a year and a half ago from mental illness. He left behind a three year old boy and a wife who was 12 weeks pregnant. I have personally seen what death of a parent does to a child and it is terribly sad...excruciating actually. My sister-in-law and best friend is having a hell of a time raising those precious children....she is truly my hero. As hard as it has been on everyone involved, we all feel like Chad's life was a gift, and these boys are a gift. The oldest talks about his dad all the time and he misses him so much..... I can'y imagine life without my nephews....can't imagine it. Chad's legacy is his fight and those boys.

It is sad that we are having a discussion like this......what is right for one is not always right for someone else. I do not think I am able to take care of myself, my husband and a child...not to mention be a great aunt to my nephews. I would love to and maybe one day yes, but for now it is a no. Of course, for many years I refused to fall for anyone because I didn't want to hurt them in the end..when I passed. Now, I am married. And I believe with all of my heart, I will be here in my sixties. Love finds a way..hope finds a way. I applaud those of you who are parents and I applaud those of you who have chosen not to....

Amy-
no one disagrees with your decision not to have children. Most of us are open-minded. Have a little sensitivity...why is it sooooo hard for you????? Damn.

dramamama
03-06-2007, 02:33 AM
I am a 33 year old female with cf and am married to the love of my life, matt without cf. My brother, Chad no cf, died almost a year and a half ago from mental illness. He left behind a three year old boy and a wife who was 12 weeks pregnant. I have personally seen what death of a parent does to a child and it is terribly sad...excruciating actually. My sister-in-law and best friend is having a hell of a time raising those precious children....she is truly my hero. As hard as it has been on everyone involved, we all feel like Chad's life was a gift, and these boys are a gift. The oldest talks about his dad all the time and he misses him so much..... I can'y imagine life without my nephews....can't imagine it. Chad's legacy is his fight and those boys.

It is sad that we are having a discussion like this......what is right for one is not always right for someone else. I do not think I am able to take care of myself, my husband and a child...not to mention be a great aunt to my nephews. I would love to and maybe one day yes, but for now it is a no. Of course, for many years I refused to fall for anyone because I didn't want to hurt them in the end..when I passed. Now, I am married. And I believe with all of my heart, I will be here in my sixties. Love finds a way..hope finds a way. I applaud those of you who are parents and I applaud those of you who have chosen not to....

Amy-
no one disagrees with your decision not to have children. Most of us are open-minded. Have a little sensitivity...why is it sooooo hard for you????? Damn.

dramamama
03-06-2007, 02:33 AM
I am a 33 year old female with cf and am married to the love of my life, matt without cf. My brother, Chad no cf, died almost a year and a half ago from mental illness. He left behind a three year old boy and a wife who was 12 weeks pregnant. I have personally seen what death of a parent does to a child and it is terribly sad...excruciating actually. My sister-in-law and best friend is having a hell of a time raising those precious children....she is truly my hero. As hard as it has been on everyone involved, we all feel like Chad's life was a gift, and these boys are a gift. The oldest talks about his dad all the time and he misses him so much..... I can'y imagine life without my nephews....can't imagine it. Chad's legacy is his fight and those boys.

It is sad that we are having a discussion like this......what is right for one is not always right for someone else. I do not think I am able to take care of myself, my husband and a child...not to mention be a great aunt to my nephews. I would love to and maybe one day yes, but for now it is a no. Of course, for many years I refused to fall for anyone because I didn't want to hurt them in the end..when I passed. Now, I am married. And I believe with all of my heart, I will be here in my sixties. Love finds a way..hope finds a way. I applaud those of you who are parents and I applaud those of you who have chosen not to....

Amy-
no one disagrees with your decision not to have children. Most of us are open-minded. Have a little sensitivity...why is it sooooo hard for you????? Damn.

miesl
03-06-2007, 02:10 PM
I'm not going to sugar coat this...

Life as a CF spouse is hard. It is not a path most people could follow. Really, the whole "children" part of this decision is small. The real question is, can you handle his CF and all it will mean for you?

Things you need to do:

Go to one of your FI's doctors appointments (preferrably, go to all of his appointments), see what is clinical status is.

Read Allie's blog. Know this <b>will be </b>your future.

Figure out if you can deal. If you have ANY doubt, you would be best off running now rather than later (both for yourself and your FI). Your FI has limited time, it would be much better for him to find someone willing to stick it out than wait around for you to decide you're not up for the task.

It's a hard choice... and we're here for you.

miesl
03-06-2007, 02:10 PM
I'm not going to sugar coat this...

Life as a CF spouse is hard. It is not a path most people could follow. Really, the whole "children" part of this decision is small. The real question is, can you handle his CF and all it will mean for you?

Things you need to do:

Go to one of your FI's doctors appointments (preferrably, go to all of his appointments), see what is clinical status is.

Read Allie's blog. Know this <b>will be </b>your future.

Figure out if you can deal. If you have ANY doubt, you would be best off running now rather than later (both for yourself and your FI). Your FI has limited time, it would be much better for him to find someone willing to stick it out than wait around for you to decide you're not up for the task.

It's a hard choice... and we're here for you.

miesl
03-06-2007, 02:10 PM
I'm not going to sugar coat this...

Life as a CF spouse is hard. It is not a path most people could follow. Really, the whole "children" part of this decision is small. The real question is, can you handle his CF and all it will mean for you?

Things you need to do:

Go to one of your FI's doctors appointments (preferrably, go to all of his appointments), see what is clinical status is.

Read Allie's blog. Know this <b>will be </b>your future.

Figure out if you can deal. If you have ANY doubt, you would be best off running now rather than later (both for yourself and your FI). Your FI has limited time, it would be much better for him to find someone willing to stick it out than wait around for you to decide you're not up for the task.

It's a hard choice... and we're here for you.

Allie
03-06-2007, 02:55 PM
In Amy's defense, Christian, she was talking about having kids at all, not just having them biologically. I think adoption is a gift for several reasons, and if you care, Debbie, you can PM me on that. BUT. No matter how you have kids, there likely will come a time after your husband dies that you will question the choice, because of the sorrow it brings your child. I love my daughter, she's everything I have left in the world, but when she's upset about not having her dad around, I question the wisdom of having her. So no matter what you decide, you need to prepare for that.

On another topic, yes, being a CF spouse is incredibly difficult sometimes. I will argue that it's more difficult if you love them a great deal, because watching someone go through that is torture. Make sure you know the game before you enter. Amy said 38 is the average, well, that's not quite true. That's a median. 50% die before, 50% after. Be prepared to lose him from now to 50 before you take this on, you owe it to BOTH of you to know exactly what a life with CF entails. It's more painful for everyone when someone gets into a relationship thinking they can handle it, then, as the CFer gets sicker and sicker, you bail out. I've seen it a million times, and it's not fair to anyone.

If there's anything I cnan answer or help with, feel free to ask.

Allie
03-06-2007, 02:55 PM
In Amy's defense, Christian, she was talking about having kids at all, not just having them biologically. I think adoption is a gift for several reasons, and if you care, Debbie, you can PM me on that. BUT. No matter how you have kids, there likely will come a time after your husband dies that you will question the choice, because of the sorrow it brings your child. I love my daughter, she's everything I have left in the world, but when she's upset about not having her dad around, I question the wisdom of having her. So no matter what you decide, you need to prepare for that.

On another topic, yes, being a CF spouse is incredibly difficult sometimes. I will argue that it's more difficult if you love them a great deal, because watching someone go through that is torture. Make sure you know the game before you enter. Amy said 38 is the average, well, that's not quite true. That's a median. 50% die before, 50% after. Be prepared to lose him from now to 50 before you take this on, you owe it to BOTH of you to know exactly what a life with CF entails. It's more painful for everyone when someone gets into a relationship thinking they can handle it, then, as the CFer gets sicker and sicker, you bail out. I've seen it a million times, and it's not fair to anyone.

If there's anything I cnan answer or help with, feel free to ask.

Allie
03-06-2007, 02:55 PM
In Amy's defense, Christian, she was talking about having kids at all, not just having them biologically. I think adoption is a gift for several reasons, and if you care, Debbie, you can PM me on that. BUT. No matter how you have kids, there likely will come a time after your husband dies that you will question the choice, because of the sorrow it brings your child. I love my daughter, she's everything I have left in the world, but when she's upset about not having her dad around, I question the wisdom of having her. So no matter what you decide, you need to prepare for that.

On another topic, yes, being a CF spouse is incredibly difficult sometimes. I will argue that it's more difficult if you love them a great deal, because watching someone go through that is torture. Make sure you know the game before you enter. Amy said 38 is the average, well, that's not quite true. That's a median. 50% die before, 50% after. Be prepared to lose him from now to 50 before you take this on, you owe it to BOTH of you to know exactly what a life with CF entails. It's more painful for everyone when someone gets into a relationship thinking they can handle it, then, as the CFer gets sicker and sicker, you bail out. I've seen it a million times, and it's not fair to anyone.

If there's anything I cnan answer or help with, feel free to ask.

Axis
03-06-2007, 06:03 PM
Sakasuka- nobody would argue your right to express your opinion, particularly this open-minded spastic. It is, however, the way in which you choose to word your replies that is so offensive.

" I will not put my selfish need for a child above the child's welfare of possibly losing a mom at a young age".

That is more than an opinion, it is a judgment on anyone who has "selfishly" had a child. Opinions are fine. Judgments are another matter entirely.

Axis
03-06-2007, 06:03 PM
Sakasuka- nobody would argue your right to express your opinion, particularly this open-minded spastic. It is, however, the way in which you choose to word your replies that is so offensive.

" I will not put my selfish need for a child above the child's welfare of possibly losing a mom at a young age".

That is more than an opinion, it is a judgment on anyone who has "selfishly" had a child. Opinions are fine. Judgments are another matter entirely.

Axis
03-06-2007, 06:03 PM
Sakasuka- nobody would argue your right to express your opinion, particularly this open-minded spastic. It is, however, the way in which you choose to word your replies that is so offensive.

" I will not put my selfish need for a child above the child's welfare of possibly losing a mom at a young age".

That is more than an opinion, it is a judgment on anyone who has "selfishly" had a child. Opinions are fine. Judgments are another matter entirely.

julie
03-06-2007, 06:08 PM
Can we stop for a minute and ALL (MYSELF INCLUDED, I'M GUILTY), the inital posters question? She did NOT ask what we all thought about having children in a CF relationship, she didn't ask about the hardships of a CF relationship.... she asked two very separate clear questions,

1. Can men with CF have children
2. How long will he live

The first one, many of us can answer, by personal experience or from our own reading and education of it. The latter one is not something that any of us can answer for her, but rather give our personal experiences and education about how Cf affects everyone differently and so on.

She didn't once ask us for the personal ramifications of choosing to have a child in a CF relationship and until she does so, I really think that we should leave that out of our responses. In my opinion, it isn't warranted.... therefore, I'm editing my post and removing the information I wrote because as I re-read her question, she's asking a question that has a simple yes or no answer, and would require a little expanation, but nothing of a personal opinion, but rather ACTUAL information.

julie
03-06-2007, 06:08 PM
Can we stop for a minute and ALL (MYSELF INCLUDED, I'M GUILTY), the inital posters question? She did NOT ask what we all thought about having children in a CF relationship, she didn't ask about the hardships of a CF relationship.... she asked two very separate clear questions,

1. Can men with CF have children
2. How long will he live

The first one, many of us can answer, by personal experience or from our own reading and education of it. The latter one is not something that any of us can answer for her, but rather give our personal experiences and education about how Cf affects everyone differently and so on.

She didn't once ask us for the personal ramifications of choosing to have a child in a CF relationship and until she does so, I really think that we should leave that out of our responses. In my opinion, it isn't warranted.... therefore, I'm editing my post and removing the information I wrote because as I re-read her question, she's asking a question that has a simple yes or no answer, and would require a little expanation, but nothing of a personal opinion, but rather ACTUAL information.

julie
03-06-2007, 06:08 PM
Can we stop for a minute and ALL (MYSELF INCLUDED, I'M GUILTY), the inital posters question? She did NOT ask what we all thought about having children in a CF relationship, she didn't ask about the hardships of a CF relationship.... she asked two very separate clear questions,

1. Can men with CF have children
2. How long will he live

The first one, many of us can answer, by personal experience or from our own reading and education of it. The latter one is not something that any of us can answer for her, but rather give our personal experiences and education about how Cf affects everyone differently and so on.

She didn't once ask us for the personal ramifications of choosing to have a child in a CF relationship and until she does so, I really think that we should leave that out of our responses. In my opinion, it isn't warranted.... therefore, I'm editing my post and removing the information I wrote because as I re-read her question, she's asking a question that has a simple yes or no answer, and would require a little expanation, but nothing of a personal opinion, but rather ACTUAL information.

dbtoo
03-06-2007, 06:18 PM
deleted...

Julie's correct.

dbtoo
03-06-2007, 06:18 PM
deleted...

Julie's correct.

dbtoo
03-06-2007, 06:18 PM
deleted...

Julie's correct.

julie
03-06-2007, 06:21 PM
dbtoo,

it's unfortunate for those who want to have biological children/adopted and for those who have to/choose to pay upwards of $10,000 to do IVF or to adopt a child. it's not unfortunate for those who choose not to have children because it's a natural form of birth control for those who are infertile, and it's definately convienent.

julie
03-06-2007, 06:21 PM
dbtoo,

it's unfortunate for those who want to have biological children/adopted and for those who have to/choose to pay upwards of $10,000 to do IVF or to adopt a child. it's not unfortunate for those who choose not to have children because it's a natural form of birth control for those who are infertile, and it's definately convienent.

julie
03-06-2007, 06:21 PM
dbtoo,

it's unfortunate for those who want to have biological children/adopted and for those who have to/choose to pay upwards of $10,000 to do IVF or to adopt a child. it's not unfortunate for those who choose not to have children because it's a natural form of birth control for those who are infertile, and it's definately convienent.

KrazyKat
03-06-2007, 07:08 PM
I agree with Julie, too often we let somebody's impolite or inflamatory comment hijack a thread and fail to respond adequately to the poster.
Yes, often CF males can father children, although usually with medical intervention required.
Yes there are huge issues you both need to talk through before you even contemplate trying. The ultimate decision belongs to you and your partner and nobody else.
Yes Amy is opinionated, we all know that, she has been attacked before for her views on children, it's an old fight, let it go and ignore the issue, it's been done to death and we all just have to agree to disagree.

KrazyKat
03-06-2007, 07:08 PM
I agree with Julie, too often we let somebody's impolite or inflamatory comment hijack a thread and fail to respond adequately to the poster.
Yes, often CF males can father children, although usually with medical intervention required.
Yes there are huge issues you both need to talk through before you even contemplate trying. The ultimate decision belongs to you and your partner and nobody else.
Yes Amy is opinionated, we all know that, she has been attacked before for her views on children, it's an old fight, let it go and ignore the issue, it's been done to death and we all just have to agree to disagree.

KrazyKat
03-06-2007, 07:08 PM
I agree with Julie, too often we let somebody's impolite or inflamatory comment hijack a thread and fail to respond adequately to the poster.
Yes, often CF males can father children, although usually with medical intervention required.
Yes there are huge issues you both need to talk through before you even contemplate trying. The ultimate decision belongs to you and your partner and nobody else.
Yes Amy is opinionated, we all know that, she has been attacked before for her views on children, it's an old fight, let it go and ignore the issue, it's been done to death and we all just have to agree to disagree.

CaliSally
03-06-2007, 07:30 PM
Kids aren't for everyone - with or without CF.

I was fortunate to find out that wanted to experience pregnancy more than really wanting kids, and therefore haven't had children - And my husband and I have no regrets! We are a perfectly happy family with our furry kids.

If you can't openly and honestly talk to him about these issues (that you posted here) then you both will have a rocky road ahead of you in dealing with his illness, on top of normal life's bumps in the road.

If you really are considering wanting to marry him down the road, you'll both need to be more honest with the difficult things, or, it WON'T work. Those are the facts.

Best Wishes

CaliSally
03-06-2007, 07:30 PM
Kids aren't for everyone - with or without CF.

I was fortunate to find out that wanted to experience pregnancy more than really wanting kids, and therefore haven't had children - And my husband and I have no regrets! We are a perfectly happy family with our furry kids.

If you can't openly and honestly talk to him about these issues (that you posted here) then you both will have a rocky road ahead of you in dealing with his illness, on top of normal life's bumps in the road.

If you really are considering wanting to marry him down the road, you'll both need to be more honest with the difficult things, or, it WON'T work. Those are the facts.

Best Wishes

CaliSally
03-06-2007, 07:30 PM
Kids aren't for everyone - with or without CF.

I was fortunate to find out that wanted to experience pregnancy more than really wanting kids, and therefore haven't had children - And my husband and I have no regrets! We are a perfectly happy family with our furry kids.

If you can't openly and honestly talk to him about these issues (that you posted here) then you both will have a rocky road ahead of you in dealing with his illness, on top of normal life's bumps in the road.

If you really are considering wanting to marry him down the road, you'll both need to be more honest with the difficult things, or, it WON'T work. Those are the facts.

Best Wishes

CaliSally
03-06-2007, 07:34 PM
Oh, and I agree with Axis <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

CaliSally
03-06-2007, 07:34 PM
Oh, and I agree with Axis <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

CaliSally
03-06-2007, 07:34 PM
Oh, and I agree with Axis <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

lightNlife
03-07-2007, 02:01 AM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>julie</b></i>

dbtoo,



it's unfortunate for those who want to have biological children/adopted and for those who have to/choose to pay upwards of $10,000 to do IVF or to adopt a child. it's not unfortunate for those who choose not to have children because it's a natural form of birth control for those who are infertile, and it's definately convienent.</end quote></div>

To summarize a very popular song, "you can't always get what you want."

And as far as the natural form of birth control, you're close, but just slightly off target. Biologically speaking, it's actually a natural form of population control, not birth control. Natural selection, if it were to take place without the intervention of modern science (e.g. IVF), would progress in such a way that certain diseases, particularly those like CF that are caused by a genetic mutation, would have been eradicated due to the inability of people with such a condition to breed. By usurping natural selection, the likelihood of wiping out the disease becomes increasingly small.

lightNlife
03-07-2007, 02:01 AM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>julie</b></i>

dbtoo,



it's unfortunate for those who want to have biological children/adopted and for those who have to/choose to pay upwards of $10,000 to do IVF or to adopt a child. it's not unfortunate for those who choose not to have children because it's a natural form of birth control for those who are infertile, and it's definately convienent.</end quote></div>

To summarize a very popular song, "you can't always get what you want."

And as far as the natural form of birth control, you're close, but just slightly off target. Biologically speaking, it's actually a natural form of population control, not birth control. Natural selection, if it were to take place without the intervention of modern science (e.g. IVF), would progress in such a way that certain diseases, particularly those like CF that are caused by a genetic mutation, would have been eradicated due to the inability of people with such a condition to breed. By usurping natural selection, the likelihood of wiping out the disease becomes increasingly small.

lightNlife
03-07-2007, 02:01 AM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>julie</b></i>

dbtoo,



it's unfortunate for those who want to have biological children/adopted and for those who have to/choose to pay upwards of $10,000 to do IVF or to adopt a child. it's not unfortunate for those who choose not to have children because it's a natural form of birth control for those who are infertile, and it's definately convienent.</end quote></div>

To summarize a very popular song, "you can't always get what you want."

And as far as the natural form of birth control, you're close, but just slightly off target. Biologically speaking, it's actually a natural form of population control, not birth control. Natural selection, if it were to take place without the intervention of modern science (e.g. IVF), would progress in such a way that certain diseases, particularly those like CF that are caused by a genetic mutation, would have been eradicated due to the inability of people with such a condition to breed. By usurping natural selection, the likelihood of wiping out the disease becomes increasingly small.

julie
03-07-2007, 03:48 AM
Moved to a new topic

julie
03-07-2007, 03:48 AM
Moved to a new topic

julie
03-07-2007, 03:48 AM
Moved to a new topic

elrustad
03-07-2007, 05:39 PM
I am new to this forum as of today, 03/07/2007.

My wife, Jamie, and I have 4 children now. We were thinking of doing IVF but in Minnesota nothing was covered at the time, 1997. So we decided to do IUI with donor sperm.

In Decemeber, 1999 we found out that IUI worked and Jamie was pregnant. We found out in January, 2000 that we were going to have twins. August 8, 2000 we had our twins, Ashalyn at 6 lbs 1 oz and Caleb at 4 lbs 12 oz.

In 2004 we decided to have one more child. So we went back to our same doctor that we did IUI and got pregnant again. Again we found out we wer having twins again. April 23, 2005 we had Noah at 6 lbs 11 oz and Elias at 6 lbs 15 oz.

It is possible to have children. You may have them biologically, IVF, IUI with donor sperm, or adoptions. The ways are out there you just need to chose what is right for you and your spouse, partner, life mate.


As for the life expentency, that is a real unknown. I was diagnosed with CF on my 26th birthday. Today I am 35 and living great. Life is meant to be lived and don't try to make it shorter by dwelling on negative effects of CF.

elrustad
03-07-2007, 05:39 PM
I am new to this forum as of today, 03/07/2007.

My wife, Jamie, and I have 4 children now. We were thinking of doing IVF but in Minnesota nothing was covered at the time, 1997. So we decided to do IUI with donor sperm.

In Decemeber, 1999 we found out that IUI worked and Jamie was pregnant. We found out in January, 2000 that we were going to have twins. August 8, 2000 we had our twins, Ashalyn at 6 lbs 1 oz and Caleb at 4 lbs 12 oz.

In 2004 we decided to have one more child. So we went back to our same doctor that we did IUI and got pregnant again. Again we found out we wer having twins again. April 23, 2005 we had Noah at 6 lbs 11 oz and Elias at 6 lbs 15 oz.

It is possible to have children. You may have them biologically, IVF, IUI with donor sperm, or adoptions. The ways are out there you just need to chose what is right for you and your spouse, partner, life mate.


As for the life expentency, that is a real unknown. I was diagnosed with CF on my 26th birthday. Today I am 35 and living great. Life is meant to be lived and don't try to make it shorter by dwelling on negative effects of CF.

elrustad
03-07-2007, 05:39 PM
I am new to this forum as of today, 03/07/2007.

My wife, Jamie, and I have 4 children now. We were thinking of doing IVF but in Minnesota nothing was covered at the time, 1997. So we decided to do IUI with donor sperm.

In Decemeber, 1999 we found out that IUI worked and Jamie was pregnant. We found out in January, 2000 that we were going to have twins. August 8, 2000 we had our twins, Ashalyn at 6 lbs 1 oz and Caleb at 4 lbs 12 oz.

In 2004 we decided to have one more child. So we went back to our same doctor that we did IUI and got pregnant again. Again we found out we wer having twins again. April 23, 2005 we had Noah at 6 lbs 11 oz and Elias at 6 lbs 15 oz.

It is possible to have children. You may have them biologically, IVF, IUI with donor sperm, or adoptions. The ways are out there you just need to chose what is right for you and your spouse, partner, life mate.


As for the life expentency, that is a real unknown. I was diagnosed with CF on my 26th birthday. Today I am 35 and living great. Life is meant to be lived and don't try to make it shorter by dwelling on negative effects of CF.

JazzysMom
03-07-2007, 05:40 PM
Uggg I am tired justing thining of two sets of twins. Congrats to you, Eric!

JazzysMom
03-07-2007, 05:40 PM
Uggg I am tired justing thining of two sets of twins. Congrats to you, Eric!

JazzysMom
03-07-2007, 05:40 PM
Uggg I am tired justing thining of two sets of twins. Congrats to you, Eric!

KaiserWilly
07-19-2007, 11:35 PM
Hello,
I will make it brief but I have two children. A boy (age 20) and a girl (age 22). The girl has two children a boy (age 3) and a girl (almost 2). Everyone tested okay and does not have CF.

I was told inadvertantly by my parents that the doctors (in the 1970s) didn't know what was wrong with me but stated that I probably wouldn't live past my mid-twenties. Well.....the self-declared Gods were wrong. In February 2007 I "celebrated" my 48th birthday.

So we sometimes can have children and sometimes can really tick off the "experts" by surviving. I was only diagnosed in November of 2006. The reason it took so long was they never considered CF because I was STILL ALIVE!

Later I found out how little knowledge many general practioners have about CF. There are quite a few of us "older" folks now because treatment has improved and the chances of living until they crack the gene therapy isn't all that bad. Take heart but be careful nonetheless.

Deep breath for us all,
Kaiser Willy

KaiserWilly
07-19-2007, 11:35 PM
Hello,
I will make it brief but I have two children. A boy (age 20) and a girl (age 22). The girl has two children a boy (age 3) and a girl (almost 2). Everyone tested okay and does not have CF.

I was told inadvertantly by my parents that the doctors (in the 1970s) didn't know what was wrong with me but stated that I probably wouldn't live past my mid-twenties. Well.....the self-declared Gods were wrong. In February 2007 I "celebrated" my 48th birthday.

So we sometimes can have children and sometimes can really tick off the "experts" by surviving. I was only diagnosed in November of 2006. The reason it took so long was they never considered CF because I was STILL ALIVE!

Later I found out how little knowledge many general practioners have about CF. There are quite a few of us "older" folks now because treatment has improved and the chances of living until they crack the gene therapy isn't all that bad. Take heart but be careful nonetheless.

Deep breath for us all,
Kaiser Willy

KaiserWilly
07-19-2007, 11:35 PM
Hello,
I will make it brief but I have two children. A boy (age 20) and a girl (age 22). The girl has two children a boy (age 3) and a girl (almost 2). Everyone tested okay and does not have CF.

I was told inadvertantly by my parents that the doctors (in the 1970s) didn't know what was wrong with me but stated that I probably wouldn't live past my mid-twenties. Well.....the self-declared Gods were wrong. In February 2007 I "celebrated" my 48th birthday.

So we sometimes can have children and sometimes can really tick off the "experts" by surviving. I was only diagnosed in November of 2006. The reason it took so long was they never considered CF because I was STILL ALIVE!

Later I found out how little knowledge many general practioners have about CF. There are quite a few of us "older" folks now because treatment has improved and the chances of living until they crack the gene therapy isn't all that bad. Take heart but be careful nonetheless.

Deep breath for us all,
Kaiser Willy

KaiserWilly
07-19-2007, 11:35 PM
Hello,
I will make it brief but I have two children. A boy (age 20) and a girl (age 22). The girl has two children a boy (age 3) and a girl (almost 2). Everyone tested okay and does not have CF.

I was told inadvertantly by my parents that the doctors (in the 1970s) didn't know what was wrong with me but stated that I probably wouldn't live past my mid-twenties. Well.....the self-declared Gods were wrong. In February 2007 I "celebrated" my 48th birthday.

So we sometimes can have children and sometimes can really tick off the "experts" by surviving. I was only diagnosed in November of 2006. The reason it took so long was they never considered CF because I was STILL ALIVE!

Later I found out how little knowledge many general practioners have about CF. There are quite a few of us "older" folks now because treatment has improved and the chances of living until they crack the gene therapy isn't all that bad. Take heart but be careful nonetheless.

Deep breath for us all,
Kaiser Willy

KaiserWilly
07-19-2007, 11:35 PM
Hello,
I will make it brief but I have two children. A boy (age 20) and a girl (age 22). The girl has two children a boy (age 3) and a girl (almost 2). Everyone tested okay and does not have CF.

I was told inadvertantly by my parents that the doctors (in the 1970s) didn't know what was wrong with me but stated that I probably wouldn't live past my mid-twenties. Well.....the self-declared Gods were wrong. In February 2007 I "celebrated" my 48th birthday.

So we sometimes can have children and sometimes can really tick off the "experts" by surviving. I was only diagnosed in November of 2006. The reason it took so long was they never considered CF because I was STILL ALIVE!

Later I found out how little knowledge many general practioners have about CF. There are quite a few of us "older" folks now because treatment has improved and the chances of living until they crack the gene therapy isn't all that bad. Take heart but be careful nonetheless.

Deep breath for us all,
Kaiser Willy

KaiserWilly
07-19-2007, 11:35 PM
Hello,
I will make it brief but I have two children. A boy (age 20) and a girl (age 22). The girl has two children a boy (age 3) and a girl (almost 2). Everyone tested okay and does not have CF.

I was told inadvertantly by my parents that the doctors (in the 1970s) didn't know what was wrong with me but stated that I probably wouldn't live past my mid-twenties. Well.....the self-declared Gods were wrong. In February 2007 I "celebrated" my 48th birthday.

So we sometimes can have children and sometimes can really tick off the "experts" by surviving. I was only diagnosed in November of 2006. The reason it took so long was they never considered CF because I was STILL ALIVE!

Later I found out how little knowledge many general practioners have about CF. There are quite a few of us "older" folks now because treatment has improved and the chances of living until they crack the gene therapy isn't all that bad. Take heart but be careful nonetheless.

Deep breath for us all,
Kaiser Willy