PDA

View Full Version : Insensitive people!



lauren
11-30-2006, 06:25 AM
Hey,

I went for a part-time job interview and when we got to the health question, I told the guy about CF. I saw a glimpse of recognition in his eyes so I asked him if he knew what is was. He then preceeds to tell me about this guy (didn't sound like he knew him personally) who died from CF. Thinking back now I wish I had told him how rude he was to say that. Plus the other day a nurse, she was really kind, but also really insensitive. She talked about how bad CF used to be...blah...blah..

Don't worry I'm not disillusional to the severity of CF, I just wonder how some people can be so insensitive!!!

Lauren

19 w,cf

lauren
11-30-2006, 06:25 AM
Hey,

I went for a part-time job interview and when we got to the health question, I told the guy about CF. I saw a glimpse of recognition in his eyes so I asked him if he knew what is was. He then preceeds to tell me about this guy (didn't sound like he knew him personally) who died from CF. Thinking back now I wish I had told him how rude he was to say that. Plus the other day a nurse, she was really kind, but also really insensitive. She talked about how bad CF used to be...blah...blah..

Don't worry I'm not disillusional to the severity of CF, I just wonder how some people can be so insensitive!!!

Lauren

19 w,cf

lauren
11-30-2006, 06:25 AM
Hey,

I went for a part-time job interview and when we got to the health question, I told the guy about CF. I saw a glimpse of recognition in his eyes so I asked him if he knew what is was. He then preceeds to tell me about this guy (didn't sound like he knew him personally) who died from CF. Thinking back now I wish I had told him how rude he was to say that. Plus the other day a nurse, she was really kind, but also really insensitive. She talked about how bad CF used to be...blah...blah..

Don't worry I'm not disillusional to the severity of CF, I just wonder how some people can be so insensitive!!!

Lauren

19 w,cf

Allie
11-30-2006, 06:53 AM
Okay, nobody shove a stick of dynamite up my bum ...PLEASE!!!

I don't think it's rude to tell someone with CF, that you knew someone who had CF, and passed on. It's a fact of the disease, they aren't saying it to be rude. They would tell you if they knew someone with CF who was alive, too. Whenever someone mentioned CF, I would mention that my husband had it. I'm not going to stop mentioning the connection I had to CF just because he passed away. An adult with CF knows the facts of CF. I'm not trying to be rude, honestly, I just do not find it insensitive. I didn't find it insensitive when Ry was alive and someone told me they knew someone who had died of CF either. Just trying to present a different view.

As to the nurse telling you how awful it WAS....I would counter with how awful it still is......it's not cured, or even well controlled. MUCH work still needs to be done, and as a nurse, she should know that.

Allie
11-30-2006, 06:53 AM
Okay, nobody shove a stick of dynamite up my bum ...PLEASE!!!

I don't think it's rude to tell someone with CF, that you knew someone who had CF, and passed on. It's a fact of the disease, they aren't saying it to be rude. They would tell you if they knew someone with CF who was alive, too. Whenever someone mentioned CF, I would mention that my husband had it. I'm not going to stop mentioning the connection I had to CF just because he passed away. An adult with CF knows the facts of CF. I'm not trying to be rude, honestly, I just do not find it insensitive. I didn't find it insensitive when Ry was alive and someone told me they knew someone who had died of CF either. Just trying to present a different view.

As to the nurse telling you how awful it WAS....I would counter with how awful it still is......it's not cured, or even well controlled. MUCH work still needs to be done, and as a nurse, she should know that.

Allie
11-30-2006, 06:53 AM
Okay, nobody shove a stick of dynamite up my bum ...PLEASE!!!

I don't think it's rude to tell someone with CF, that you knew someone who had CF, and passed on. It's a fact of the disease, they aren't saying it to be rude. They would tell you if they knew someone with CF who was alive, too. Whenever someone mentioned CF, I would mention that my husband had it. I'm not going to stop mentioning the connection I had to CF just because he passed away. An adult with CF knows the facts of CF. I'm not trying to be rude, honestly, I just do not find it insensitive. I didn't find it insensitive when Ry was alive and someone told me they knew someone who had died of CF either. Just trying to present a different view.

As to the nurse telling you how awful it WAS....I would counter with how awful it still is......it's not cured, or even well controlled. MUCH work still needs to be done, and as a nurse, she should know that.

lauren
11-30-2006, 07:16 AM
Hi Allie

Don't worry I don't taken offense at all. Life wouldn't be interesting if we all had the same opinion!

I still thought it was insensitive ( as he himself did not know the person, but was just recalling any knowledge he had of CF)

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Lauren
19 w,cf

lauren
11-30-2006, 07:16 AM
Hi Allie

Don't worry I don't taken offense at all. Life wouldn't be interesting if we all had the same opinion!

I still thought it was insensitive ( as he himself did not know the person, but was just recalling any knowledge he had of CF)

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Lauren
19 w,cf

lauren
11-30-2006, 07:16 AM
Hi Allie

Don't worry I don't taken offense at all. Life wouldn't be interesting if we all had the same opinion!

I still thought it was insensitive ( as he himself did not know the person, but was just recalling any knowledge he had of CF)

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Lauren
19 w,cf

mum2kj
11-30-2006, 09:00 AM
I hate insensitive ppl too, I had a doc say to me when Kj was 7 that

"the skinny ones die"

and as Kj was skinny it scared me.

It is something that has stuck in my mind since then.

mum2kj
11-30-2006, 09:00 AM
I hate insensitive ppl too, I had a doc say to me when Kj was 7 that

"the skinny ones die"

and as Kj was skinny it scared me.

It is something that has stuck in my mind since then.

mum2kj
11-30-2006, 09:00 AM
I hate insensitive ppl too, I had a doc say to me when Kj was 7 that

"the skinny ones die"

and as Kj was skinny it scared me.

It is something that has stuck in my mind since then.

JazzysMom
11-30-2006, 09:21 AM
Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. Unless the person hearing the story asks. That is like people telling me about my ex husband. Unless I ask about him....why are you telling me!! We are aware of reality. It does seem to me that most people I know that are aware of CF (outside of those I personally know) have a connection to it from a death. Like in the news.....the bad stuff is what we hear. Rude or insensitive I guess is in the perception. Maybe next time ask if they know anyone that has beat the odds so far!!!!

JazzysMom
11-30-2006, 09:21 AM
Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. Unless the person hearing the story asks. That is like people telling me about my ex husband. Unless I ask about him....why are you telling me!! We are aware of reality. It does seem to me that most people I know that are aware of CF (outside of those I personally know) have a connection to it from a death. Like in the news.....the bad stuff is what we hear. Rude or insensitive I guess is in the perception. Maybe next time ask if they know anyone that has beat the odds so far!!!!

JazzysMom
11-30-2006, 09:21 AM
Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. Unless the person hearing the story asks. That is like people telling me about my ex husband. Unless I ask about him....why are you telling me!! We are aware of reality. It does seem to me that most people I know that are aware of CF (outside of those I personally know) have a connection to it from a death. Like in the news.....the bad stuff is what we hear. Rude or insensitive I guess is in the perception. Maybe next time ask if they know anyone that has beat the odds so far!!!!

Landy
11-30-2006, 11:37 AM
It does seem a little insensitive. If I met someone that told me they had MS, I wouldn't say, "yah, I knew a guy that had MS but he died from it" That just does seem a bit insensitive.
I've had people say that to me a few times and it doesn't really bother me, I've known many CFs that have passed. Personally, I don't think I would say that to someone that told me they had cancer, MS, etc.

Landy
11-30-2006, 11:37 AM
It does seem a little insensitive. If I met someone that told me they had MS, I wouldn't say, "yah, I knew a guy that had MS but he died from it" That just does seem a bit insensitive.
I've had people say that to me a few times and it doesn't really bother me, I've known many CFs that have passed. Personally, I don't think I would say that to someone that told me they had cancer, MS, etc.

Landy
11-30-2006, 11:37 AM
It does seem a little insensitive. If I met someone that told me they had MS, I wouldn't say, "yah, I knew a guy that had MS but he died from it" That just does seem a bit insensitive.
I've had people say that to me a few times and it doesn't really bother me, I've known many CFs that have passed. Personally, I don't think I would say that to someone that told me they had cancer, MS, etc.

2perfectboys
11-30-2006, 12:05 PM
I would think CF should not come up in 98% of interviews, it actually crosses the legal aspect, unless YOU volunteered it.

2perfectboys
11-30-2006, 12:05 PM
I would think CF should not come up in 98% of interviews, it actually crosses the legal aspect, unless YOU volunteered it.

2perfectboys
11-30-2006, 12:05 PM
I would think CF should not come up in 98% of interviews, it actually crosses the legal aspect, unless YOU volunteered it.

ReneeP
11-30-2006, 12:12 PM
I, too, find it insensitive for people to throw at you every bad thing they know about CF when they find out you (or a family member) has it. We don't go around to every person we see who is overweight saying "my cousin died complications relating to her being so fat"... or to people who have diabetes saying "my uncle had to have both legs removed, lost his eye site and died of it"... I mean, we know the problems of CF but that doesn't mean it has to be thrown in our face every time we take a breath. I don't think people realize it's insensitive until it is too late.

I had the unfortunate experience of having to have Thanksgiving dinner with my husband's family this year and nearly jumped out of my skin with every comment. My daughter (who will be 12 next week and is in that age of extreme self consciousness) was eating and my sister-in-law said "you're going to get fat eating like that". I jumped up and went into an explanation of CF calorie needs and all but it wasn't but a few minutes later that my brother-in-law looked at my 7 year old daughter (who also has CF) and said "well it sure doesn't look like she has any weight problems, look at that belly on her"... that did it for me. Kacie is very small for her age but does have the typical pot belly and is also sensitive about it. My husband was out of town so he wasn't with us and so I finally just had to take the kids and leave. And they expect me back for Christmas dinner!!! Yeah right!

ReneeP
11-30-2006, 12:12 PM
I, too, find it insensitive for people to throw at you every bad thing they know about CF when they find out you (or a family member) has it. We don't go around to every person we see who is overweight saying "my cousin died complications relating to her being so fat"... or to people who have diabetes saying "my uncle had to have both legs removed, lost his eye site and died of it"... I mean, we know the problems of CF but that doesn't mean it has to be thrown in our face every time we take a breath. I don't think people realize it's insensitive until it is too late.

I had the unfortunate experience of having to have Thanksgiving dinner with my husband's family this year and nearly jumped out of my skin with every comment. My daughter (who will be 12 next week and is in that age of extreme self consciousness) was eating and my sister-in-law said "you're going to get fat eating like that". I jumped up and went into an explanation of CF calorie needs and all but it wasn't but a few minutes later that my brother-in-law looked at my 7 year old daughter (who also has CF) and said "well it sure doesn't look like she has any weight problems, look at that belly on her"... that did it for me. Kacie is very small for her age but does have the typical pot belly and is also sensitive about it. My husband was out of town so he wasn't with us and so I finally just had to take the kids and leave. And they expect me back for Christmas dinner!!! Yeah right!

ReneeP
11-30-2006, 12:12 PM
I, too, find it insensitive for people to throw at you every bad thing they know about CF when they find out you (or a family member) has it. We don't go around to every person we see who is overweight saying "my cousin died complications relating to her being so fat"... or to people who have diabetes saying "my uncle had to have both legs removed, lost his eye site and died of it"... I mean, we know the problems of CF but that doesn't mean it has to be thrown in our face every time we take a breath. I don't think people realize it's insensitive until it is too late.

I had the unfortunate experience of having to have Thanksgiving dinner with my husband's family this year and nearly jumped out of my skin with every comment. My daughter (who will be 12 next week and is in that age of extreme self consciousness) was eating and my sister-in-law said "you're going to get fat eating like that". I jumped up and went into an explanation of CF calorie needs and all but it wasn't but a few minutes later that my brother-in-law looked at my 7 year old daughter (who also has CF) and said "well it sure doesn't look like she has any weight problems, look at that belly on her"... that did it for me. Kacie is very small for her age but does have the typical pot belly and is also sensitive about it. My husband was out of town so he wasn't with us and so I finally just had to take the kids and leave. And they expect me back for Christmas dinner!!! Yeah right!

LouLou
11-30-2006, 12:57 PM
Why were you discussing cf in an interview????
Unless you can't fulfill the needs of the job it really shouldn't come up and then even then you should realize that you probably won't get the job not because of discrimination but because you told them you can't do whta they are looking for.

If you are looking for special provisions on the job. During the interview is not the time to ask for them. After you accept the job you can discuss how you need whatever you need (extra bathroom priviledges, snacks allowed at desk or whatever)

Personally I think we should be encouraging anyone that has any experience or knowledge about cf to be discussing it. Spread awareness! Until recently everyone with cf died of cf. I have had many encounters with people that have lost a special person to cf. To tell them they shouldn't speak of it is INSENSITIVE!! Take it as an opportunity to educate people about how there are different mutations and different severities of the disease.

But again, why were discussing this in an interview??

LouLou
11-30-2006, 12:57 PM
Why were you discussing cf in an interview????
Unless you can't fulfill the needs of the job it really shouldn't come up and then even then you should realize that you probably won't get the job not because of discrimination but because you told them you can't do whta they are looking for.

If you are looking for special provisions on the job. During the interview is not the time to ask for them. After you accept the job you can discuss how you need whatever you need (extra bathroom priviledges, snacks allowed at desk or whatever)

Personally I think we should be encouraging anyone that has any experience or knowledge about cf to be discussing it. Spread awareness! Until recently everyone with cf died of cf. I have had many encounters with people that have lost a special person to cf. To tell them they shouldn't speak of it is INSENSITIVE!! Take it as an opportunity to educate people about how there are different mutations and different severities of the disease.

But again, why were discussing this in an interview??

LouLou
11-30-2006, 12:57 PM
Why were you discussing cf in an interview????
Unless you can't fulfill the needs of the job it really shouldn't come up and then even then you should realize that you probably won't get the job not because of discrimination but because you told them you can't do whta they are looking for.

If you are looking for special provisions on the job. During the interview is not the time to ask for them. After you accept the job you can discuss how you need whatever you need (extra bathroom priviledges, snacks allowed at desk or whatever)

Personally I think we should be encouraging anyone that has any experience or knowledge about cf to be discussing it. Spread awareness! Until recently everyone with cf died of cf. I have had many encounters with people that have lost a special person to cf. To tell them they shouldn't speak of it is INSENSITIVE!! Take it as an opportunity to educate people about how there are different mutations and different severities of the disease.

But again, why were discussing this in an interview??

Momtana
11-30-2006, 01:00 PM
Lauren, perhaps it was his way of making a connection with you, but not well thought out.

Momtana
11-30-2006, 01:00 PM
Lauren, perhaps it was his way of making a connection with you, but not well thought out.

Momtana
11-30-2006, 01:00 PM
Lauren, perhaps it was his way of making a connection with you, but not well thought out.

Momtana
11-30-2006, 01:00 PM
Lauren, perhaps it was his way of making a connection with you, but not well thought out.

Momtana
11-30-2006, 01:00 PM
Lauren, perhaps it was his way of making a connection with you, but not well thought out.

Momtana
11-30-2006, 01:00 PM
Lauren, perhaps it was his way of making a connection with you, but not well thought out.

NoExcuses
11-30-2006, 01:15 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

Okay, nobody shove a stick of dynamite up my bum ...PLEASE!!!



I don't think it's rude to tell someone with CF, that you knew someone who had CF, and passed on. It's a fact of the disease, they aren't saying it to be rude. They would tell you if they knew someone with CF who was alive, too. Whenever someone mentioned CF, I would mention that my husband had it. I'm not going to stop mentioning the connection I had to CF just because he passed away. An adult with CF knows the facts of CF. I'm not trying to be rude, honestly, I just do not find it insensitive. I didn't find it insensitive when Ry was alive and someone told me they knew someone who had died of CF either. Just trying to present a different view.



As to the nurse telling you how awful it WAS....I would counter with how awful it still is......it's not cured, or even well controlled. MUCH work still needs to be done, and as a nurse, she should know that.</end quote></div>

I agree with allie 100%. Imagine that - someone hearing of someone with CF dying. You brought up CF and this was his knowledge of it.

And ya, CF used to be and still is a bad disease - the nurse was right.

Facts are facts, girl.

NoExcuses
11-30-2006, 01:15 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

Okay, nobody shove a stick of dynamite up my bum ...PLEASE!!!



I don't think it's rude to tell someone with CF, that you knew someone who had CF, and passed on. It's a fact of the disease, they aren't saying it to be rude. They would tell you if they knew someone with CF who was alive, too. Whenever someone mentioned CF, I would mention that my husband had it. I'm not going to stop mentioning the connection I had to CF just because he passed away. An adult with CF knows the facts of CF. I'm not trying to be rude, honestly, I just do not find it insensitive. I didn't find it insensitive when Ry was alive and someone told me they knew someone who had died of CF either. Just trying to present a different view.



As to the nurse telling you how awful it WAS....I would counter with how awful it still is......it's not cured, or even well controlled. MUCH work still needs to be done, and as a nurse, she should know that.</end quote></div>

I agree with allie 100%. Imagine that - someone hearing of someone with CF dying. You brought up CF and this was his knowledge of it.

And ya, CF used to be and still is a bad disease - the nurse was right.

Facts are facts, girl.

NoExcuses
11-30-2006, 01:15 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

Okay, nobody shove a stick of dynamite up my bum ...PLEASE!!!



I don't think it's rude to tell someone with CF, that you knew someone who had CF, and passed on. It's a fact of the disease, they aren't saying it to be rude. They would tell you if they knew someone with CF who was alive, too. Whenever someone mentioned CF, I would mention that my husband had it. I'm not going to stop mentioning the connection I had to CF just because he passed away. An adult with CF knows the facts of CF. I'm not trying to be rude, honestly, I just do not find it insensitive. I didn't find it insensitive when Ry was alive and someone told me they knew someone who had died of CF either. Just trying to present a different view.



As to the nurse telling you how awful it WAS....I would counter with how awful it still is......it's not cured, or even well controlled. MUCH work still needs to be done, and as a nurse, she should know that.</end quote></div>

I agree with allie 100%. Imagine that - someone hearing of someone with CF dying. You brought up CF and this was his knowledge of it.

And ya, CF used to be and still is a bad disease - the nurse was right.

Facts are facts, girl.

Jade
11-30-2006, 02:33 PM
Not trying to get off topic but Allie mentioned something that caught my eye in her last line. <u><b>Not even well controlled</b></u>. I can relate to that cause very few CF meds actually work for me and I think my doc sometimes thinks I'm not taking the stuff everyday. Advair is useless & most inhaled meds never get into me when I'm sick. I only hope for better control methods in the near future so everyone with CF can benefit from it. I said this because I think if I had more control over my health all those insensitive words people say would not have any impact.

Jade
11-30-2006, 02:33 PM
Not trying to get off topic but Allie mentioned something that caught my eye in her last line. <u><b>Not even well controlled</b></u>. I can relate to that cause very few CF meds actually work for me and I think my doc sometimes thinks I'm not taking the stuff everyday. Advair is useless & most inhaled meds never get into me when I'm sick. I only hope for better control methods in the near future so everyone with CF can benefit from it. I said this because I think if I had more control over my health all those insensitive words people say would not have any impact.

Jade
11-30-2006, 02:33 PM
Not trying to get off topic but Allie mentioned something that caught my eye in her last line. <u><b>Not even well controlled</b></u>. I can relate to that cause very few CF meds actually work for me and I think my doc sometimes thinks I'm not taking the stuff everyday. Advair is useless & most inhaled meds never get into me when I'm sick. I only hope for better control methods in the near future so everyone with CF can benefit from it. I said this because I think if I had more control over my health all those insensitive words people say would not have any impact.

Axis
11-30-2006, 02:39 PM
Facts may well be facts, but have you never heard of a little thing called tact, sakasuka? I doubt that you point out to people who are overweight or unattractive that they are "fat and ugly", though doubless they themselves are aware of these "facts". And why not? Because it is incredibly unkind and insensitive to do so. Just as pointing out to someone who has a particular illness that people die of it. YES of course we are all well aware that CF is eventually fatal. But to mention it in an initial conversation with someone you've just met??? I vote that the comment was insensitive.

Axis

Axis
11-30-2006, 02:39 PM
Facts may well be facts, but have you never heard of a little thing called tact, sakasuka? I doubt that you point out to people who are overweight or unattractive that they are "fat and ugly", though doubless they themselves are aware of these "facts". And why not? Because it is incredibly unkind and insensitive to do so. Just as pointing out to someone who has a particular illness that people die of it. YES of course we are all well aware that CF is eventually fatal. But to mention it in an initial conversation with someone you've just met??? I vote that the comment was insensitive.

Axis

Axis
11-30-2006, 02:39 PM
Facts may well be facts, but have you never heard of a little thing called tact, sakasuka? I doubt that you point out to people who are overweight or unattractive that they are "fat and ugly", though doubless they themselves are aware of these "facts". And why not? Because it is incredibly unkind and insensitive to do so. Just as pointing out to someone who has a particular illness that people die of it. YES of course we are all well aware that CF is eventually fatal. But to mention it in an initial conversation with someone you've just met??? I vote that the comment was insensitive.

Axis

Diane
11-30-2006, 03:10 PM
I also think it leans towards being a bit insensitive. It may be the only thing he remembers about this guy having cf ( the fact that he died of it) But he could have just mentioned he once knew of someone with cf and left it at that ,and waited to see if you asked for further info. Thats what i would have done. I'd wait to see if you WANT to know the outcome of this person. Rather then offer it all up at once . Like someone else said....If someone told me they had cancer , the same cancer that killed someone else i knew, i would NOT make a point to tell them i knew someone with the same thing but he died from it. I would simply say that i once knew someone with it and if they ask what happened to him, i would then tell them the outcome. I am one of those people that always thinks things thru all in a split second and considers the other persons feelings , before i open my mouth. hmmmm Now when i'm mad that last sentence doesnt always apply.......lol

Diane
11-30-2006, 03:10 PM
I also think it leans towards being a bit insensitive. It may be the only thing he remembers about this guy having cf ( the fact that he died of it) But he could have just mentioned he once knew of someone with cf and left it at that ,and waited to see if you asked for further info. Thats what i would have done. I'd wait to see if you WANT to know the outcome of this person. Rather then offer it all up at once . Like someone else said....If someone told me they had cancer , the same cancer that killed someone else i knew, i would NOT make a point to tell them i knew someone with the same thing but he died from it. I would simply say that i once knew someone with it and if they ask what happened to him, i would then tell them the outcome. I am one of those people that always thinks things thru all in a split second and considers the other persons feelings , before i open my mouth. hmmmm Now when i'm mad that last sentence doesnt always apply.......lol

Diane
11-30-2006, 03:10 PM
I also think it leans towards being a bit insensitive. It may be the only thing he remembers about this guy having cf ( the fact that he died of it) But he could have just mentioned he once knew of someone with cf and left it at that ,and waited to see if you asked for further info. Thats what i would have done. I'd wait to see if you WANT to know the outcome of this person. Rather then offer it all up at once . Like someone else said....If someone told me they had cancer , the same cancer that killed someone else i knew, i would NOT make a point to tell them i knew someone with the same thing but he died from it. I would simply say that i once knew someone with it and if they ask what happened to him, i would then tell them the outcome. I am one of those people that always thinks things thru all in a split second and considers the other persons feelings , before i open my mouth. hmmmm Now when i'm mad that last sentence doesnt always apply.......lol

sue35
11-30-2006, 03:13 PM
I gotta say I agree with Amy and Allie. I don't think he meant it meanly, he probably said it without thinking, which we all do from time to time. It would be a good chance to tell him how far Cf has come (the median age maybe) and that it still needs to come a long way for a cure. You would be raising awareness.

While I would probably never say that to someone, I do know that a lot of people do. I really think they are saying it to just connect somehow with you. You can turn it into a positive thing by raising awareness.

Yeah, and why did that come up during an interview?

sue35
11-30-2006, 03:13 PM
I gotta say I agree with Amy and Allie. I don't think he meant it meanly, he probably said it without thinking, which we all do from time to time. It would be a good chance to tell him how far Cf has come (the median age maybe) and that it still needs to come a long way for a cure. You would be raising awareness.

While I would probably never say that to someone, I do know that a lot of people do. I really think they are saying it to just connect somehow with you. You can turn it into a positive thing by raising awareness.

Yeah, and why did that come up during an interview?

sue35
11-30-2006, 03:13 PM
I gotta say I agree with Amy and Allie. I don't think he meant it meanly, he probably said it without thinking, which we all do from time to time. It would be a good chance to tell him how far Cf has come (the median age maybe) and that it still needs to come a long way for a cure. You would be raising awareness.

While I would probably never say that to someone, I do know that a lot of people do. I really think they are saying it to just connect somehow with you. You can turn it into a positive thing by raising awareness.

Yeah, and why did that come up during an interview?

Ratatosk
11-30-2006, 03:19 PM
Some people just don't think before they speak. My boss is a prime example -- had my wisdom teeth out a year after I started working for him. Horror story about his experience. Tonsils out 6 years ago -- he had a dreadful experience, too.

I'd jokingly told my husband, if I ever get pregnant, he's going to have some horrible Monty Pythonish story... Course, I was thinking more in terms that his wife's baby came out sideways. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> 4 years ago I get pregnant and had to hear the horrible story about how his wife hemorraged, required several blood transfusions and almost died when she gave birth to their second child. My grandmother would say "He ain't got no fetchin up". Some people just don't get it. L

Ratatosk
11-30-2006, 03:19 PM
Some people just don't think before they speak. My boss is a prime example -- had my wisdom teeth out a year after I started working for him. Horror story about his experience. Tonsils out 6 years ago -- he had a dreadful experience, too.

I'd jokingly told my husband, if I ever get pregnant, he's going to have some horrible Monty Pythonish story... Course, I was thinking more in terms that his wife's baby came out sideways. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> 4 years ago I get pregnant and had to hear the horrible story about how his wife hemorraged, required several blood transfusions and almost died when she gave birth to their second child. My grandmother would say "He ain't got no fetchin up". Some people just don't get it. L

Ratatosk
11-30-2006, 03:19 PM
Some people just don't think before they speak. My boss is a prime example -- had my wisdom teeth out a year after I started working for him. Horror story about his experience. Tonsils out 6 years ago -- he had a dreadful experience, too.

I'd jokingly told my husband, if I ever get pregnant, he's going to have some horrible Monty Pythonish story... Course, I was thinking more in terms that his wife's baby came out sideways. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> 4 years ago I get pregnant and had to hear the horrible story about how his wife hemorraged, required several blood transfusions and almost died when she gave birth to their second child. My grandmother would say "He ain't got no fetchin up". Some people just don't get it. L

Scarlett81
11-30-2006, 03:36 PM
I think there's circumstances where's its ok-like if someone's life has really been affected by cf, they had a close relative or friend and they want to let you know they are very familiar with it-I don't have a problem with it. But overall, yes I find people can be extremely stupid and they don't think.
If someone came up to me and said they were just dx'd with cancer I wouldn't say-oh wow......my mom died from it, and my uncle and my neighbor....wow I hope you're ok.
Its common sense-so I don't know why people feel the need to put it in my face.
I had a (well meaning) lady come up to me in the mall and say-Lady what the heck are you walking around with an IV in your arm? (kind of in a rude tone) And I said well i have cf, yadda yadda. And her face turns this white shade and she covers her mouth and says-Oh my God...Oh God bless you. Its like-I ain't dead.

Scarlett81
11-30-2006, 03:36 PM
I think there's circumstances where's its ok-like if someone's life has really been affected by cf, they had a close relative or friend and they want to let you know they are very familiar with it-I don't have a problem with it. But overall, yes I find people can be extremely stupid and they don't think.
If someone came up to me and said they were just dx'd with cancer I wouldn't say-oh wow......my mom died from it, and my uncle and my neighbor....wow I hope you're ok.
Its common sense-so I don't know why people feel the need to put it in my face.
I had a (well meaning) lady come up to me in the mall and say-Lady what the heck are you walking around with an IV in your arm? (kind of in a rude tone) And I said well i have cf, yadda yadda. And her face turns this white shade and she covers her mouth and says-Oh my God...Oh God bless you. Its like-I ain't dead.

Scarlett81
11-30-2006, 03:36 PM
I think there's circumstances where's its ok-like if someone's life has really been affected by cf, they had a close relative or friend and they want to let you know they are very familiar with it-I don't have a problem with it. But overall, yes I find people can be extremely stupid and they don't think.
If someone came up to me and said they were just dx'd with cancer I wouldn't say-oh wow......my mom died from it, and my uncle and my neighbor....wow I hope you're ok.
Its common sense-so I don't know why people feel the need to put it in my face.
I had a (well meaning) lady come up to me in the mall and say-Lady what the heck are you walking around with an IV in your arm? (kind of in a rude tone) And I said well i have cf, yadda yadda. And her face turns this white shade and she covers her mouth and says-Oh my God...Oh God bless you. Its like-I ain't dead.

Allie
11-30-2006, 05:54 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>


I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.

Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.

Allie
11-30-2006, 05:54 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>


I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.

Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.

Allie
11-30-2006, 05:54 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>


I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.

Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.

icefisherman
11-30-2006, 06:12 PM
i think if someone says that they knew someone who died, we should consider how they feel to. if we are offended by there loss, i don't think that that is very kind of us at all. I'm sure these people mean well. If they were being mean, or sarcastic that is a different story

icefisherman
11-30-2006, 06:12 PM
i think if someone says that they knew someone who died, we should consider how they feel to. if we are offended by there loss, i don't think that that is very kind of us at all. I'm sure these people mean well. If they were being mean, or sarcastic that is a different story

icefisherman
11-30-2006, 06:12 PM
i think if someone says that they knew someone who died, we should consider how they feel to. if we are offended by there loss, i don't think that that is very kind of us at all. I'm sure these people mean well. If they were being mean, or sarcastic that is a different story

Lilith
11-30-2006, 06:12 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

Damn, Allie...you go, girl! Honestly, I don't see why the subject of death is so taboo, either. Everyone dies of something someday. Its just life in general.

Lauren, I also don't think it was said to be mean, but because it was his way of making that little connection with you. As already mentioned, use it as an opportunity for awareness.

Lilith
11-30-2006, 06:12 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

Damn, Allie...you go, girl! Honestly, I don't see why the subject of death is so taboo, either. Everyone dies of something someday. Its just life in general.

Lauren, I also don't think it was said to be mean, but because it was his way of making that little connection with you. As already mentioned, use it as an opportunity for awareness.

Lilith
11-30-2006, 06:12 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

Damn, Allie...you go, girl! Honestly, I don't see why the subject of death is so taboo, either. Everyone dies of something someday. Its just life in general.

Lauren, I also don't think it was said to be mean, but because it was his way of making that little connection with you. As already mentioned, use it as an opportunity for awareness.

Lilith
11-30-2006, 06:13 PM
P.S. Why does this thing not recognize spaces anymore?!

Lilith
11-30-2006, 06:13 PM
P.S. Why does this thing not recognize spaces anymore?!

Lilith
11-30-2006, 06:13 PM
P.S. Why does this thing not recognize spaces anymore?!

ReneeP
11-30-2006, 06:25 PM
I would just like to point out that in the original post this person who was being "insensitive" was referring to a person he didn't even really know personally. That is what is insensitive about it. He was just trying to pull something out of his hat to make it sound like he could relate to the person he was talking to. There is a big difference between doing that and discussing a child or spouse or someone close to you whom you have lost. If one of my daughters were to die of CF, I would not hide that fact. However, I also would not run up to everyone I think might have a relationship with someone who has CF and throw it at them either.

There has to be some tact in the world. If someone comes to you asking you for info on CF, by all means, give them the info they are asking for. But if what you have to say does not benefit someone, its best left unsaid. There's no point. Some people just talk to hear themselves sound important. Just to prove that they know something... regardless of what affect it has on the other person. Those are the people I believe are insensitive.

ReneeP
11-30-2006, 06:25 PM
I would just like to point out that in the original post this person who was being "insensitive" was referring to a person he didn't even really know personally. That is what is insensitive about it. He was just trying to pull something out of his hat to make it sound like he could relate to the person he was talking to. There is a big difference between doing that and discussing a child or spouse or someone close to you whom you have lost. If one of my daughters were to die of CF, I would not hide that fact. However, I also would not run up to everyone I think might have a relationship with someone who has CF and throw it at them either.

There has to be some tact in the world. If someone comes to you asking you for info on CF, by all means, give them the info they are asking for. But if what you have to say does not benefit someone, its best left unsaid. There's no point. Some people just talk to hear themselves sound important. Just to prove that they know something... regardless of what affect it has on the other person. Those are the people I believe are insensitive.

ReneeP
11-30-2006, 06:25 PM
I would just like to point out that in the original post this person who was being "insensitive" was referring to a person he didn't even really know personally. That is what is insensitive about it. He was just trying to pull something out of his hat to make it sound like he could relate to the person he was talking to. There is a big difference between doing that and discussing a child or spouse or someone close to you whom you have lost. If one of my daughters were to die of CF, I would not hide that fact. However, I also would not run up to everyone I think might have a relationship with someone who has CF and throw it at them either.

There has to be some tact in the world. If someone comes to you asking you for info on CF, by all means, give them the info they are asking for. But if what you have to say does not benefit someone, its best left unsaid. There's no point. Some people just talk to hear themselves sound important. Just to prove that they know something... regardless of what affect it has on the other person. Those are the people I believe are insensitive.

lauren
11-30-2006, 06:26 PM
Hey,

Well some of u asked why I mentioned it in the interview. I have IV's lately about twice a year, and thus I might have to take off work, as it would be hard to cope with varsity, work and an IV. So I want to be upfront about it. Because I have good marks at varsity plus a part-time job already, the person can see that I am coping fine with the disease. Anywayz I got a phone call today from him saying I got the job! And like many suggested I did wish I had used it as a chance to raise awareness.

And yes I know "facts are facts" sakasuka I know to well of these facts, I just don't need a stranger throwing it in my face!

And Allie, I think it's different when you mention a loved one died from it, however as I said I got the impression he didn't even know the person.

Lauren
19 w, cf

lauren
11-30-2006, 06:26 PM
Hey,

Well some of u asked why I mentioned it in the interview. I have IV's lately about twice a year, and thus I might have to take off work, as it would be hard to cope with varsity, work and an IV. So I want to be upfront about it. Because I have good marks at varsity plus a part-time job already, the person can see that I am coping fine with the disease. Anywayz I got a phone call today from him saying I got the job! And like many suggested I did wish I had used it as a chance to raise awareness.

And yes I know "facts are facts" sakasuka I know to well of these facts, I just don't need a stranger throwing it in my face!

And Allie, I think it's different when you mention a loved one died from it, however as I said I got the impression he didn't even know the person.

Lauren
19 w, cf

lauren
11-30-2006, 06:26 PM
Hey,

Well some of u asked why I mentioned it in the interview. I have IV's lately about twice a year, and thus I might have to take off work, as it would be hard to cope with varsity, work and an IV. So I want to be upfront about it. Because I have good marks at varsity plus a part-time job already, the person can see that I am coping fine with the disease. Anywayz I got a phone call today from him saying I got the job! And like many suggested I did wish I had used it as a chance to raise awareness.

And yes I know "facts are facts" sakasuka I know to well of these facts, I just don't need a stranger throwing it in my face!

And Allie, I think it's different when you mention a loved one died from it, however as I said I got the impression he didn't even know the person.

Lauren
19 w, cf

lauren
11-30-2006, 06:34 PM
Hi!

thank you RenneP. I think I would have taken it totally different if this person had been a loved one of his. But like i said it sounded like no-one he knew personally!!!

lauren
11-30-2006, 06:34 PM
Hi!

thank you RenneP. I think I would have taken it totally different if this person had been a loved one of his. But like i said it sounded like no-one he knew personally!!!

lauren
11-30-2006, 06:34 PM
Hi!

thank you RenneP. I think I would have taken it totally different if this person had been a loved one of his. But like i said it sounded like no-one he knew personally!!!

CowTown
11-30-2006, 06:57 PM
I don't find it rude when people mention someone they knew who had cf and has died. I just had that experience with my neighbor 2 months ago, but it was his niece who died. I don't find it rude, but I would feel rude by saying it. I would never tell someone who has cancer that I knew someone who died of cancer. But I don't mind hearing it from someon else, it's reality. Especially since the awareness of CF isn't as high as so many other illnesses, so when someone knows of it, they try to relate however they can. That's what I have found.

I have a story of someone who I thought was being rude and insensitive though. I was about 16 years old and my PFT guy asked me if I was hoping to get married one day. Then went on to say, that he "would never marry someone with cf." I asked why, he said he wouldn't for fear of them dying. That line has stuck with me all these years and brought up a few issues for me when it was time for me to get married. I thought that was extremely insensitive of him to say to me....especially b/c he was the PFT guy at the Children's Hospital!

CowTown
11-30-2006, 06:57 PM
I don't find it rude when people mention someone they knew who had cf and has died. I just had that experience with my neighbor 2 months ago, but it was his niece who died. I don't find it rude, but I would feel rude by saying it. I would never tell someone who has cancer that I knew someone who died of cancer. But I don't mind hearing it from someon else, it's reality. Especially since the awareness of CF isn't as high as so many other illnesses, so when someone knows of it, they try to relate however they can. That's what I have found.

I have a story of someone who I thought was being rude and insensitive though. I was about 16 years old and my PFT guy asked me if I was hoping to get married one day. Then went on to say, that he "would never marry someone with cf." I asked why, he said he wouldn't for fear of them dying. That line has stuck with me all these years and brought up a few issues for me when it was time for me to get married. I thought that was extremely insensitive of him to say to me....especially b/c he was the PFT guy at the Children's Hospital!

CowTown
11-30-2006, 06:57 PM
I don't find it rude when people mention someone they knew who had cf and has died. I just had that experience with my neighbor 2 months ago, but it was his niece who died. I don't find it rude, but I would feel rude by saying it. I would never tell someone who has cancer that I knew someone who died of cancer. But I don't mind hearing it from someon else, it's reality. Especially since the awareness of CF isn't as high as so many other illnesses, so when someone knows of it, they try to relate however they can. That's what I have found.

I have a story of someone who I thought was being rude and insensitive though. I was about 16 years old and my PFT guy asked me if I was hoping to get married one day. Then went on to say, that he "would never marry someone with cf." I asked why, he said he wouldn't for fear of them dying. That line has stuck with me all these years and brought up a few issues for me when it was time for me to get married. I thought that was extremely insensitive of him to say to me....especially b/c he was the PFT guy at the Children's Hospital!

Allie
11-30-2006, 07:01 PM
Yes Kelly, that's a great example of someone actually being insensitive and rude...so's kj's "The skinny ones die" .....

Not on Cf, but I got one yesterday with someone saying, in regards to remarriage "Allie, it's like a dress, you get one, it wears out, and you get rid of it and get a new one!"

Allie
11-30-2006, 07:01 PM
Yes Kelly, that's a great example of someone actually being insensitive and rude...so's kj's "The skinny ones die" .....

Not on Cf, but I got one yesterday with someone saying, in regards to remarriage "Allie, it's like a dress, you get one, it wears out, and you get rid of it and get a new one!"

Allie
11-30-2006, 07:01 PM
Yes Kelly, that's a great example of someone actually being insensitive and rude...so's kj's "The skinny ones die" .....

Not on Cf, but I got one yesterday with someone saying, in regards to remarriage "Allie, it's like a dress, you get one, it wears out, and you get rid of it and get a new one!"

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:15 PM
I agree that the comment was insensitive, but I really don't think it was meant to be, if you know what I mean? I for one, wouldn't have said it. I am a parent of a CFer though, so my feelings and thoughts will be different of a person with CF. I hope I've said this without offending anyone. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:15 PM
I agree that the comment was insensitive, but I really don't think it was meant to be, if you know what I mean? I for one, wouldn't have said it. I am a parent of a CFer though, so my feelings and thoughts will be different of a person with CF. I hope I've said this without offending anyone. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:15 PM
I agree that the comment was insensitive, but I really don't think it was meant to be, if you know what I mean? I for one, wouldn't have said it. I am a parent of a CFer though, so my feelings and thoughts will be different of a person with CF. I hope I've said this without offending anyone. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:25 PM
The only Insensitive remark that I
have ever let bother was when I was
8 when I was dx, the doctoe told my Mother
that I would not make to 18, That remark has been
in the back of my mind all through my life.It make
not do some things I would have done, even when I past
the 18 year point, it was still there. My brother ( Franky )
passed from Cf , he was 27 , I was 14 at the time.
So that added to my fear and the closer I got to 27
the more it was in my head.

Also we talk about Franky and my Brother David
just like we do of all the other Members of my Family.
They have both passed, But they will forever be
members of My Family.......

All through my life time I have come in contact
with tactless people, A LOT of the Med students
and doctors, to them I always said the same thing,
F U !!!!!!! I am a Med student and Interns Nightmare!!!!!!!
If I hear them talking about me as if I am a Lab Rat,
I get on there A S S es with both feet.

I had a guy ask me to Stop coughing one time.
He said he didn't want to catch what I had,after I
stopped laughing and coughing again ,I told him there
was no way he could catch Cf. I told him it is not like
a cold or flu. I told him Cf is something many people are
born with. he said, you mean like a retard., So I knocked
the H ell out of him and left. Problem solved...........

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:25 PM
The only Insensitive remark that I
have ever let bother was when I was
8 when I was dx, the doctoe told my Mother
that I would not make to 18, That remark has been
in the back of my mind all through my life.It make
not do some things I would have done, even when I past
the 18 year point, it was still there. My brother ( Franky )
passed from Cf , he was 27 , I was 14 at the time.
So that added to my fear and the closer I got to 27
the more it was in my head.

Also we talk about Franky and my Brother David
just like we do of all the other Members of my Family.
They have both passed, But they will forever be
members of My Family.......

All through my life time I have come in contact
with tactless people, A LOT of the Med students
and doctors, to them I always said the same thing,
F U !!!!!!! I am a Med student and Interns Nightmare!!!!!!!
If I hear them talking about me as if I am a Lab Rat,
I get on there A S S es with both feet.

I had a guy ask me to Stop coughing one time.
He said he didn't want to catch what I had,after I
stopped laughing and coughing again ,I told him there
was no way he could catch Cf. I told him it is not like
a cold or flu. I told him Cf is something many people are
born with. he said, you mean like a retard., So I knocked
the H ell out of him and left. Problem solved...........

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:25 PM
The only Insensitive remark that I
have ever let bother was when I was
8 when I was dx, the doctoe told my Mother
that I would not make to 18, That remark has been
in the back of my mind all through my life.It make
not do some things I would have done, even when I past
the 18 year point, it was still there. My brother ( Franky )
passed from Cf , he was 27 , I was 14 at the time.
So that added to my fear and the closer I got to 27
the more it was in my head.

Also we talk about Franky and my Brother David
just like we do of all the other Members of my Family.
They have both passed, But they will forever be
members of My Family.......

All through my life time I have come in contact
with tactless people, A LOT of the Med students
and doctors, to them I always said the same thing,
F U !!!!!!! I am a Med student and Interns Nightmare!!!!!!!
If I hear them talking about me as if I am a Lab Rat,
I get on there A S S es with both feet.

I had a guy ask me to Stop coughing one time.
He said he didn't want to catch what I had,after I
stopped laughing and coughing again ,I told him there
was no way he could catch Cf. I told him it is not like
a cold or flu. I told him Cf is something many people are
born with. he said, you mean like a retard., So I knocked
the H ell out of him and left. Problem solved...........

purplemartin
11-30-2006, 07:38 PM
About 4 weeks after my newborn son was diagnosed with CF I found a lump in my breast. Well my OB sent me to have an ultrasound performed to check out the lump. Well the US tech. knew of my son's recent diagnosis with CF and begins to tell me that her friend has two children with CF........*then hesitates with silence----rewinds.......and corrects herself.... DID have two children with CF, she lost her son at 2 years of age. I thought who is this incentive witch who fells she has to tell me of her friends most recent loss......not only that but to go back and correct herself.....why not just realize some things are better left unsaid? I will never forget how insensitive this girl was and to top it off....she herself was 9 months pregnant. I was one scared mama of a new recently diagnosed newborn at that point and had already cried my eyes out many of nights wondering about my sons future with this disease.


Thankfully, I am educated about CF now and am more positive about my son's future and realize that her son's passing so soon from the disease is not the norm. But still......................

purplemartin
11-30-2006, 07:38 PM
About 4 weeks after my newborn son was diagnosed with CF I found a lump in my breast. Well my OB sent me to have an ultrasound performed to check out the lump. Well the US tech. knew of my son's recent diagnosis with CF and begins to tell me that her friend has two children with CF........*then hesitates with silence----rewinds.......and corrects herself.... DID have two children with CF, she lost her son at 2 years of age. I thought who is this incentive witch who fells she has to tell me of her friends most recent loss......not only that but to go back and correct herself.....why not just realize some things are better left unsaid? I will never forget how insensitive this girl was and to top it off....she herself was 9 months pregnant. I was one scared mama of a new recently diagnosed newborn at that point and had already cried my eyes out many of nights wondering about my sons future with this disease.


Thankfully, I am educated about CF now and am more positive about my son's future and realize that her son's passing so soon from the disease is not the norm. But still......................

purplemartin
11-30-2006, 07:38 PM
About 4 weeks after my newborn son was diagnosed with CF I found a lump in my breast. Well my OB sent me to have an ultrasound performed to check out the lump. Well the US tech. knew of my son's recent diagnosis with CF and begins to tell me that her friend has two children with CF........*then hesitates with silence----rewinds.......and corrects herself.... DID have two children with CF, she lost her son at 2 years of age. I thought who is this incentive witch who fells she has to tell me of her friends most recent loss......not only that but to go back and correct herself.....why not just realize some things are better left unsaid? I will never forget how insensitive this girl was and to top it off....she herself was 9 months pregnant. I was one scared mama of a new recently diagnosed newborn at that point and had already cried my eyes out many of nights wondering about my sons future with this disease.


Thankfully, I am educated about CF now and am more positive about my son's future and realize that her son's passing so soon from the disease is not the norm. But still......................

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:44 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Brad</b></i>

The only Insensitive remark that I

have ever let bother was when I was

8 when I was dx, the doctoe told my Mother

that I would not make to 18, That remark has been

in the back of my mind all through my life.It make

not do some things I would have done, even when I past

the 18 year point, it was still there. My brother ( Franky )

passed from Cf , he was 27 , I was 14 at the time.

So that added to my fear and the closer I got to 27

the more it was in my head.



Also we talk about Franky and my Brother David

just like we do of all the other Members of my Family.

They have both passed, But they will forever be

members of My Family.......



All through my life time I have come in contact

with tactless people, A LOT of the Med students

and doctors, to them I always said the same thing,

F U !!!!!!! I am a Med student and Interns Nightmare!!!!!!!

If I hear them talking about me as if I am a Lab Rat,

I get on there A S S es with both feet.



I had a guy ask me to Stop coughing one time.

He said he didn't want to catch what I had,after I

stopped laughing and coughing again ,I told him there

was no way he could catch Cf. I told him it is not like

a cold or flu. I told him Cf is something many people are

born with. he said, you mean like a retard., So I knocked

the H ell out of him and left. Problem solved...........</end quote></div>

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:44 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Brad</b></i>

The only Insensitive remark that I

have ever let bother was when I was

8 when I was dx, the doctoe told my Mother

that I would not make to 18, That remark has been

in the back of my mind all through my life.It make

not do some things I would have done, even when I past

the 18 year point, it was still there. My brother ( Franky )

passed from Cf , he was 27 , I was 14 at the time.

So that added to my fear and the closer I got to 27

the more it was in my head.



Also we talk about Franky and my Brother David

just like we do of all the other Members of my Family.

They have both passed, But they will forever be

members of My Family.......



All through my life time I have come in contact

with tactless people, A LOT of the Med students

and doctors, to them I always said the same thing,

F U !!!!!!! I am a Med student and Interns Nightmare!!!!!!!

If I hear them talking about me as if I am a Lab Rat,

I get on there A S S es with both feet.



I had a guy ask me to Stop coughing one time.

He said he didn't want to catch what I had,after I

stopped laughing and coughing again ,I told him there

was no way he could catch Cf. I told him it is not like

a cold or flu. I told him Cf is something many people are

born with. he said, you mean like a retard., So I knocked

the H ell out of him and left. Problem solved...........</end quote></div>

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:44 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Brad</b></i>

The only Insensitive remark that I

have ever let bother was when I was

8 when I was dx, the doctoe told my Mother

that I would not make to 18, That remark has been

in the back of my mind all through my life.It make

not do some things I would have done, even when I past

the 18 year point, it was still there. My brother ( Franky )

passed from Cf , he was 27 , I was 14 at the time.

So that added to my fear and the closer I got to 27

the more it was in my head.



Also we talk about Franky and my Brother David

just like we do of all the other Members of my Family.

They have both passed, But they will forever be

members of My Family.......



All through my life time I have come in contact

with tactless people, A LOT of the Med students

and doctors, to them I always said the same thing,

F U !!!!!!! I am a Med student and Interns Nightmare!!!!!!!

If I hear them talking about me as if I am a Lab Rat,

I get on there A S S es with both feet.



I had a guy ask me to Stop coughing one time.

He said he didn't want to catch what I had,after I

stopped laughing and coughing again ,I told him there

was no way he could catch Cf. I told him it is not like

a cold or flu. I told him Cf is something many people are

born with. he said, you mean like a retard., So I knocked

the H ell out of him and left. Problem solved...........</end quote></div>

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM
this posted 3 times

sorry folks

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM
this posted 3 times

sorry folks

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM
this posted 3 times

sorry folks

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM
What I think is Insensitive
is people trying to shove death down our throats......

We all F ing know what the end result will be.

You know,sometimes I feel as if people
think bad things about me because
I have lived as long as I have with Cf.

I met some one who said to me, don't you all die in
your 20's or 30's........

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM
What I think is Insensitive
is people trying to shove death down our throats......

We all F ing know what the end result will be.

You know,sometimes I feel as if people
think bad things about me because
I have lived as long as I have with Cf.

I met some one who said to me, don't you all die in
your 20's or 30's........

Brad
11-30-2006, 07:45 PM
What I think is Insensitive
is people trying to shove death down our throats......

We all F ing know what the end result will be.

You know,sometimes I feel as if people
think bad things about me because
I have lived as long as I have with Cf.

I met some one who said to me, don't you all die in
your 20's or 30's........

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:46 PM
You're problem was definitely solved. I feel said that you lived all those years worrying - what wasted time! I think CF makes you tough and helps you not to take any sh*t from anyone. There's not one day that goes by when I don't worry, I try hard not to but just can't help it. It's so exhausting when the next day comes and you realise that there was no need to worry. Maybe it will get better. I just don't know. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:46 PM
You're problem was definitely solved. I feel said that you lived all those years worrying - what wasted time! I think CF makes you tough and helps you not to take any sh*t from anyone. There's not one day that goes by when I don't worry, I try hard not to but just can't help it. It's so exhausting when the next day comes and you realise that there was no need to worry. Maybe it will get better. I just don't know. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:46 PM
You're problem was definitely solved. I feel said that you lived all those years worrying - what wasted time! I think CF makes you tough and helps you not to take any sh*t from anyone. There's not one day that goes by when I don't worry, I try hard not to but just can't help it. It's so exhausting when the next day comes and you realise that there was no need to worry. Maybe it will get better. I just don't know. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:47 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Brad</b></i>

What I think is Insensitive

is people trying to shove death down our throats......



We all F ing know what the end result will be.



You know,sometimes I feel as if people

think bad things about me because

I have lived as long as I have with Cf.



I met some who said to me, don't you all die in

your 20's or 30's........</end quote></div>


People are just ignorant

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:47 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Brad</b></i>

What I think is Insensitive

is people trying to shove death down our throats......



We all F ing know what the end result will be.



You know,sometimes I feel as if people

think bad things about me because

I have lived as long as I have with Cf.



I met some who said to me, don't you all die in

your 20's or 30's........</end quote></div>


People are just ignorant

charl72
11-30-2006, 07:47 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Brad</b></i>

What I think is Insensitive

is people trying to shove death down our throats......



We all F ing know what the end result will be.



You know,sometimes I feel as if people

think bad things about me because

I have lived as long as I have with Cf.



I met some who said to me, don't you all die in

your 20's or 30's........</end quote></div>


People are just ignorant

JazzysMom
11-30-2006, 11:02 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>



I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

TALK ABOUT TAKING THINGS TO THE EXTREME ALLIE!! IMHO there is quite a difference between you speaking of Ry or Lisa speaking of RIP or MomofJosh speaking of Josh and a man doing an interview speaking of someone who died of CF that he may or may not have had a close connection with. Given the circumstances I dont see why he felt it necessary unless it applied to the interview itself or she inquired. Not to mention that I never said anything about not speaking of or about a person again. I am an advocate of keeping someones memory alive. We have had chats about this. I dont see this any different then pointing out something else in life that doesnt seem necessary at the time. As I pointed out in my original post.....people feel "obligated" to update me on my ex husband. Is it necessary? Did I ask? Just like people telling others of those who have had problems with Diabetes or death from Cancer & CF. I just dont see why its a must to do so. I am not saying there arent times & places or that it shouldnt be discussed. Death is as much a part of life as birth. It just amazes me how people are drawn to the negative aspect of things so much easier then the positive. Look at all these responses & different situations in which that thought applies! Its safe to come out of your hole now!

JazzysMom
11-30-2006, 11:02 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>



I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

TALK ABOUT TAKING THINGS TO THE EXTREME ALLIE!! IMHO there is quite a difference between you speaking of Ry or Lisa speaking of RIP or MomofJosh speaking of Josh and a man doing an interview speaking of someone who died of CF that he may or may not have had a close connection with. Given the circumstances I dont see why he felt it necessary unless it applied to the interview itself or she inquired. Not to mention that I never said anything about not speaking of or about a person again. I am an advocate of keeping someones memory alive. We have had chats about this. I dont see this any different then pointing out something else in life that doesnt seem necessary at the time. As I pointed out in my original post.....people feel "obligated" to update me on my ex husband. Is it necessary? Did I ask? Just like people telling others of those who have had problems with Diabetes or death from Cancer & CF. I just dont see why its a must to do so. I am not saying there arent times & places or that it shouldnt be discussed. Death is as much a part of life as birth. It just amazes me how people are drawn to the negative aspect of things so much easier then the positive. Look at all these responses & different situations in which that thought applies! Its safe to come out of your hole now!

JazzysMom
11-30-2006, 11:02 PM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>



I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

TALK ABOUT TAKING THINGS TO THE EXTREME ALLIE!! IMHO there is quite a difference between you speaking of Ry or Lisa speaking of RIP or MomofJosh speaking of Josh and a man doing an interview speaking of someone who died of CF that he may or may not have had a close connection with. Given the circumstances I dont see why he felt it necessary unless it applied to the interview itself or she inquired. Not to mention that I never said anything about not speaking of or about a person again. I am an advocate of keeping someones memory alive. We have had chats about this. I dont see this any different then pointing out something else in life that doesnt seem necessary at the time. As I pointed out in my original post.....people feel "obligated" to update me on my ex husband. Is it necessary? Did I ask? Just like people telling others of those who have had problems with Diabetes or death from Cancer & CF. I just dont see why its a must to do so. I am not saying there arent times & places or that it shouldnt be discussed. Death is as much a part of life as birth. It just amazes me how people are drawn to the negative aspect of things so much easier then the positive. Look at all these responses & different situations in which that thought applies! Its safe to come out of your hole now!

Diane
12-01-2006, 01:17 AM
HAHAHA Brad that was definitely an effective way to solve the prob....

Diane
12-01-2006, 01:17 AM
HAHAHA Brad that was definitely an effective way to solve the prob....

Diane
12-01-2006, 01:17 AM
HAHAHA Brad that was definitely an effective way to solve the prob....

65rosessamurai
12-01-2006, 01:58 AM
This reminds me of a Mel Brooks movie, "Men in Tights", in which the Sherriff was explaining to the king about the bad news in regards to Robin Hood being back, but because the king hated bad news, the sherrif tried to tell the king the bad news in the form of good news. So, as the sherriff was laughing during his explanation that Robin Hood was back, and was gonna kick thier @'s, the king yells back, "why are you laughing, that's terrible news!".

So, I guess the moral to this is that even though something true may be hard to hear, there is no better way to say it. Of course, there are sensitive, and insensitive ways of saying it, such as perhaps adding statements like "I don't mean to be insensitive, but..."


...Just my perspective...

65rosessamurai
12-01-2006, 01:58 AM
This reminds me of a Mel Brooks movie, "Men in Tights", in which the Sherriff was explaining to the king about the bad news in regards to Robin Hood being back, but because the king hated bad news, the sherrif tried to tell the king the bad news in the form of good news. So, as the sherriff was laughing during his explanation that Robin Hood was back, and was gonna kick thier @'s, the king yells back, "why are you laughing, that's terrible news!".

So, I guess the moral to this is that even though something true may be hard to hear, there is no better way to say it. Of course, there are sensitive, and insensitive ways of saying it, such as perhaps adding statements like "I don't mean to be insensitive, but..."


...Just my perspective...

65rosessamurai
12-01-2006, 01:58 AM
This reminds me of a Mel Brooks movie, "Men in Tights", in which the Sherriff was explaining to the king about the bad news in regards to Robin Hood being back, but because the king hated bad news, the sherrif tried to tell the king the bad news in the form of good news. So, as the sherriff was laughing during his explanation that Robin Hood was back, and was gonna kick thier @'s, the king yells back, "why are you laughing, that's terrible news!".

So, I guess the moral to this is that even though something true may be hard to hear, there is no better way to say it. Of course, there are sensitive, and insensitive ways of saying it, such as perhaps adding statements like "I don't mean to be insensitive, but..."


...Just my perspective...

NoExcuses
12-01-2006, 02:01 AM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

once again, allie, wonderfully put. this is why you are so valuable to this board! your perspective is terrific!

NoExcuses
12-01-2006, 02:01 AM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

once again, allie, wonderfully put. this is why you are so valuable to this board! your perspective is terrific!

NoExcuses
12-01-2006, 02:01 AM
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

once again, allie, wonderfully put. this is why you are so valuable to this board! your perspective is terrific!

Emily65Roses
12-01-2006, 05:20 AM
I once had a nurse... she was really fun, she let me and Mike get away with murder. We ordered Chinese at like 11:00 pm and because the elevator gets locked after hours, she gave Mike the combination, so he could get back up after picking up our food. Anyways, we once requested a "do not disturb" sign because we were adults looking to have adult time. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> She laughed and told me her brother had CF and died, and he used to pull sh*t like that all the time. That I reminded her a lot of him. And perhaps it was because of the context, perhaps because it was a nurse... but I personally found it a HUGE compliment. Period.

I'm not jumping up anyone's @ss, but talking about CFers who died is important. Also period. What good is Ry's struggle and short but inspiring life... if Allie can't talk about it? Mind you, I didn't read all the responses, just the "just because a person knows blah blah doesn't mean they're obligated to pass on the bad news." And that pissed me off quite frankly. So there it is. Anyone who feels like crucifying me for it, by all means. But if you do, you can kiss my fanny.

Emily65Roses
12-01-2006, 05:20 AM
I once had a nurse... she was really fun, she let me and Mike get away with murder. We ordered Chinese at like 11:00 pm and because the elevator gets locked after hours, she gave Mike the combination, so he could get back up after picking up our food. Anyways, we once requested a "do not disturb" sign because we were adults looking to have adult time. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> She laughed and told me her brother had CF and died, and he used to pull sh*t like that all the time. That I reminded her a lot of him. And perhaps it was because of the context, perhaps because it was a nurse... but I personally found it a HUGE compliment. Period.

I'm not jumping up anyone's @ss, but talking about CFers who died is important. Also period. What good is Ry's struggle and short but inspiring life... if Allie can't talk about it? Mind you, I didn't read all the responses, just the "just because a person knows blah blah doesn't mean they're obligated to pass on the bad news." And that pissed me off quite frankly. So there it is. Anyone who feels like crucifying me for it, by all means. But if you do, you can kiss my fanny.

Emily65Roses
12-01-2006, 05:20 AM
I once had a nurse... she was really fun, she let me and Mike get away with murder. We ordered Chinese at like 11:00 pm and because the elevator gets locked after hours, she gave Mike the combination, so he could get back up after picking up our food. Anyways, we once requested a "do not disturb" sign because we were adults looking to have adult time. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> She laughed and told me her brother had CF and died, and he used to pull sh*t like that all the time. That I reminded her a lot of him. And perhaps it was because of the context, perhaps because it was a nurse... but I personally found it a HUGE compliment. Period.

I'm not jumping up anyone's @ss, but talking about CFers who died is important. Also period. What good is Ry's struggle and short but inspiring life... if Allie can't talk about it? Mind you, I didn't read all the responses, just the "just because a person knows blah blah doesn't mean they're obligated to pass on the bad news." And that pissed me off quite frankly. So there it is. Anyone who feels like crucifying me for it, by all means. But if you do, you can kiss my fanny.

Emily65Roses
12-01-2006, 05:42 AM
Oh and for reference... Lauren, I agree with many others. Though perhaps misguided and unnecessary, I think the guy was just trying to relate to you. CF is such a random weird thing that most people don't have a damn clue about. So when you say you have it, they try to scrounge up ANY tiny piece of information they may have on it. If it means they mention "I knew someone with it who died," then they'll say it just to have something to say. Most people when they hear cystic fibrosis, if they know anything about it, don't know a damn thing to say. I guarantee he didn't realize he was being what you saw as insensitive.

The other thing... People take cues from you. If you say you have CF, and then say "Hey sh*t happens... at least I wasn't abducted by aliens. And hell, I know I'll never get old or wrinkly!" or something similarly ridiculous (doesn't need to be that childish and stupid, it's just the only thing I thought of right now), they will take the cue from you and relax. Once you tell someone, you really kind of have to lighten the mood a bit. <b>BY ALL MEANS, use the opportunity to educate.</b> And educate 100% truthfully, no need to cover in sugar. But educate in a lighter manner (this is especially if it's someone you don't know well, and you're not sitting down to have a serious conversation about it), and they will lighten up too. Whenever I tell people about it, I answer questions seriously, but I'm sure to throw in some things like "Hey no adult diapers! I won't get that old!" or "Well at least my tattoos won't stretch and wrinkle" etc. They lighten up, feel more free to ask questions, don't feel as awkward, and are less likely to try to search for *anything* they can say, and just allow you to educate them. That's my experience anyway. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Emily65Roses
12-01-2006, 05:42 AM
Oh and for reference... Lauren, I agree with many others. Though perhaps misguided and unnecessary, I think the guy was just trying to relate to you. CF is such a random weird thing that most people don't have a damn clue about. So when you say you have it, they try to scrounge up ANY tiny piece of information they may have on it. If it means they mention "I knew someone with it who died," then they'll say it just to have something to say. Most people when they hear cystic fibrosis, if they know anything about it, don't know a damn thing to say. I guarantee he didn't realize he was being what you saw as insensitive.

The other thing... People take cues from you. If you say you have CF, and then say "Hey sh*t happens... at least I wasn't abducted by aliens. And hell, I know I'll never get old or wrinkly!" or something similarly ridiculous (doesn't need to be that childish and stupid, it's just the only thing I thought of right now), they will take the cue from you and relax. Once you tell someone, you really kind of have to lighten the mood a bit. <b>BY ALL MEANS, use the opportunity to educate.</b> And educate 100% truthfully, no need to cover in sugar. But educate in a lighter manner (this is especially if it's someone you don't know well, and you're not sitting down to have a serious conversation about it), and they will lighten up too. Whenever I tell people about it, I answer questions seriously, but I'm sure to throw in some things like "Hey no adult diapers! I won't get that old!" or "Well at least my tattoos won't stretch and wrinkle" etc. They lighten up, feel more free to ask questions, don't feel as awkward, and are less likely to try to search for *anything* they can say, and just allow you to educate them. That's my experience anyway. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Emily65Roses
12-01-2006, 05:42 AM
Oh and for reference... Lauren, I agree with many others. Though perhaps misguided and unnecessary, I think the guy was just trying to relate to you. CF is such a random weird thing that most people don't have a damn clue about. So when you say you have it, they try to scrounge up ANY tiny piece of information they may have on it. If it means they mention "I knew someone with it who died," then they'll say it just to have something to say. Most people when they hear cystic fibrosis, if they know anything about it, don't know a damn thing to say. I guarantee he didn't realize he was being what you saw as insensitive.

The other thing... People take cues from you. If you say you have CF, and then say "Hey sh*t happens... at least I wasn't abducted by aliens. And hell, I know I'll never get old or wrinkly!" or something similarly ridiculous (doesn't need to be that childish and stupid, it's just the only thing I thought of right now), they will take the cue from you and relax. Once you tell someone, you really kind of have to lighten the mood a bit. <b>BY ALL MEANS, use the opportunity to educate.</b> And educate 100% truthfully, no need to cover in sugar. But educate in a lighter manner (this is especially if it's someone you don't know well, and you're not sitting down to have a serious conversation about it), and they will lighten up too. Whenever I tell people about it, I answer questions seriously, but I'm sure to throw in some things like "Hey no adult diapers! I won't get that old!" or "Well at least my tattoos won't stretch and wrinkle" etc. They lighten up, feel more free to ask questions, don't feel as awkward, and are less likely to try to search for *anything* they can say, and just allow you to educate them. That's my experience anyway. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

65rosessamurai
12-01-2006, 11:35 PM
Touche' Em!

If I couldn't say it any better, myself. Just adding an ice-breaker to thier comment about the only thing they know about it can definitely cut the tension, in order to help in educating them further!

65rosessamurai
12-01-2006, 11:35 PM
Touche' Em!

If I couldn't say it any better, myself. Just adding an ice-breaker to thier comment about the only thing they know about it can definitely cut the tension, in order to help in educating them further!

65rosessamurai
12-01-2006, 11:35 PM
Touche' Em!

If I couldn't say it any better, myself. Just adding an ice-breaker to thier comment about the only thing they know about it can definitely cut the tension, in order to help in educating them further!